St Augustine
Augustine, friends(2), Manicheans(2), Ambrose, Monica, Mastodon skeleton, scientists (2)
(Augustine, friends on stage)
When Augustine was a young man, he just partied all day and night. He would get drunk and get high and do naughty things. He and is friends would do disco, while singing “Oh oh oh oh, staying alive, staying alive.” Augustine was the disco king, so his friends would say “Gus, you da man!”
(Enter Monica)
But Augustine’s mom, Monica, always prayed that one day he would become a Christian. She would kneel and cry, saying “Please Lord, bring him to the true faith!”
(Monica and friends leave, enter Manicheans)
One day Augustine joined a group called the Manicheans. They all believed that the body was evil, but that the spirit was good. So to celebrate their beliefs, they would eat beans, and fart, saying “I am releasing the spirit of the beans!” At Church they would all fart to the tune of staying alive. But Augustine was the farting king, so the Manicheans would say “Gus, You da man!”
But one day Augustine said “Something about this religion doesn’t smell right. Their science is terrible!” He held his nose and shoed the Manicheans away.
(Manicheans exit, enter Ambrose and Monica)
Augustine loved science, and he said “Religion and science should agree, or there’s a problem!” So he continued searching for the true religion. One day he heard a guy named Ambrose speaking about Jesus. Ambrose was so smart, that Augustine said “This must be the true religion at last!”
So Augustine became a Christian, and said "God I am sorry for all of my sins!" and Monica did a happy dance. St Augustine said to God "Our souls are restless until they rest in you!"
(Exit Monica and Ambrose, enter scientists)
But even as a Christian, Augustine found that the Bible seemed to say things about the history of the planet that did not make sense. Augustine said “When you read Genesis, I think the word ‘day’ probably means something like ‘stage’ and has more to do with what is being revealed than an actual 24 hour time period.” Scientists nodded their heads in a knowing way.
(Enter Mastodon)
Augustine was not only one of the smartest Christians around, he was also a very smart scientist! He studied astronomy, looked at the stars, and was able to predict eclipses. One day he even dug up the skeleton of a mastodon! Mastodons were ancient giant elephants. But Augustine had trouble figuring out how the pieces went together, so he thought he had found a giant human skeleton! He said “This guy must have been gargantuan!”
All the other scientists of Augustine's day (4th century) shook their heads in agreement, because from what they knew it made sense.
Augustine is a Church Father, and is the Patron Saint of Paleontologists- people who dig up dinosaur bones.
St Augustine- Pray for Us!
