Priscilla, Aquila (male), Peter, Jews, Paul, Apollos, Claudius (male), Romans, Nero
Disclaimer- Priscilla is a minor character in the book of Acts and mentioned in Paul's letters. Not much is really known about her,
(Enter Priscilla, Aquila)
There once was a woman named Priscilla. She was married to a man named Aquila. They were very much in love. They lived in Rome, and enjoyed walking along the Tiber river, watching the birds. Priscilla sighed, and lay her head on Aquila's shoulder, saying "Aquila, I am just so happy!" Together, Priscilla and Aquila made tents for a relationship. It was an intense relationship.
The audience laughed at the narrators joke. But some audience members didn't laugh, so the kids around them explained the joke to them.
(Enter Jews)
They were Jewish, and met with other Jews in Rome in a synagogue. Together they would recite a quote quote called the Shema. "Hear, oh Israel, the Lord your God is one God."
(Enter Peter)
One day a man named Peter arrived from Jerusalem. Peter said "Great news everyone! The Messiah has come to Jerusalem!"
The Jews all celebrated the good news.
Peter said "He was a man named Jesus, and..."
But Priscilla interupted and said "What do you mean was?"
Peter said "Oh, the Sadducees and the Romans realized he was a threat, so they had him crucified. But he rose from the dead, and then went to Heaven, and he's ruling as king there!"
One of the Jews said sarcastically "Some Messiah!"
But Peter said "He really is the Messiah! Turns out, he was God"
Priscilla was shocked. "God? Like God God?"
The Jews said adamantly. "There is only one God!"
Peter said "Yes, that's true, but it turns out that one God is three persons, it's pretty complicated."
The Jews mocked him derisively saying "Get out of here! That's stupid!"
But Priscilla said "wait, tell us more!"
But the Jews said "Jesus was not God!"
Peter said "Was so!"
The Jews said "Was not!"
Peter, Priscilla and Aquila said "Was so!"
(Enter Claudius)
The two groups continued saying "Not!" and "So!" until Claudius the emperor finally shouted "That's enough! You Jews and your bickering are nothing but trouble! Get out of Rome!
So all the Jews and the Christians, including Priscilla, Aquilla, and Peter, left Rome.
(Exit all but Claudius, Enter Nero)
Nero approached Claudius and said "Good work dad! You're such a great emperor. Here is a plate of mushrooms that Mom fried up for you!"
Claudius said "Thank you son!" He tasted the mushrooms, and then said "Wait! These are poisonous mushrooms!" The Claudius spasmed and foamed at the mouth and fell down dead.
(Exit Claudius)
Nero pretended to be shocked. He said "Oh darn! Now I guess I'm the emperor. I sure hope my Mom and wife don't also die by some kind of unfortunate accident." Then he rubbed his hands together menacingly and laughed like a maniac.
(Exit Nero, enter Priscilla, Aquilla and Peter)
The Christians crept back onto stage.
Aquila said "Can jews come back to Rome now?"
Peter shrugged, and said "Claudius is dead! What could go wrong now!"
(Enter Paul)
Eventually, Paul came to Rome. He shook hands with Aquila and Priscilla, and said "You're tentmakers? I'm a tentmaker! We should all travel together!"
Aquila said "I guess that's what you call a tent-ative agreement!"
The audience laughed, except the ones who didn't get it. The narrator looked at them with disdain, then continued the story.
(Enter Apollo)
One day a Christian named Apollo was teaching about Jesus. Paul said "No, that's not quite right. I'll have Priscilla explain it to you."
Apollo was offended. "You would have a woman teach a man?"
Priscilla just smiled and said "It's Ok, little guy. I'll explain."
(Enter Romans)
One day a fire broke out in Rome! Everyone on stage ran around yelling "Fire! Fire!"
Eventually the fire went out. Priscilla shook her head, looking around at the destruction. She cried "Now what will we do?" Aquila hugged her to console her.
(Enter Nero)
Nero swaggered in, saying "Don't worry, guys, I got this. So 70% of our city has burned to the ground. No big deal! We'll rebuild it better! In fact, I'm going to build a massive palace for myself, with a private lake, and a giant naked statue of myself!"
The Romans looked shocked. One said "But everybody is homeless now!"
Another Roman said "I think Nero burned the city on purpose for an excuse to build his mansion!"
Nero faked that he was offended. "No! I didn't burn the city! It was the Christians!"
The Christians all cried out "What?"
But the Romans said "Kill them!"
So they captured Peter, and crucified him upside down.
(Exit Peter)
Then they captured Paul, and chopped his head off.
(Exit Paul)
Apollos, Priscilla and Aquila all ran off and hid.
(Exit Romans, Nero)
Priscilla and Aquila and Apollos all met together in the Catacombes, tunnels under the city of Rome.
Apollos said "It's too dangerous for us to be seen together. Let's meet in these tunnels where we can buy the dead and celebrate Mass in secret."
Aquila shook his head, saying "I don't know if the church in Rome can survive!"
But Priscilla drew an anchor on the wall of the catacombs, and said "Jesus is our hope. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”
The Church in Rome did survive, and today 2000 years later the Bishop of Rome remains the leader of the Church.
