Fr Rajesh

 Raj, brothers (2), sister, elephant, tiger, monkeys (2), Indian people, Bishop, moose, loon, Canadian people, Peter

There once was a boy named Raj.  Raj waved at the audience. 

(Enter brothers and sister)

Raj lived with his 2 brothers and 1 sister. They all loved eating a spicy indian dish called Biryani. Sometimes they fought, and sometimes they hugged. They hugged and hugged. It got very awkward.

But when he was only in grade 10, he decided to become a priest, so he joined the seminary.

(Exit brothers and sister)

Raj lived in India, where there were 

(Enter elephant)

elephants that trumpeted

(Enter tiger) 

Tigers that roared

(Enter Monkeys)

And monkeys that hopped about and screeched

(Enter Indian people)

And Indian people who honked their horns all day and night.

The elephant, the tiger, the monkeys and the people all made their noise, while Raj raised his hands and said, "I want to have a quiet life!"

All the animals and people fell silent and humbly apologized before leaving the stage.

(Exit animals and people, enter Bishop)

A Bishop ordained Raj as a priest, and he became known as Fr Raj. The Bishop said, "Fr Raj, would you like to move to Canada?" 

Fr Raj shrugged and said, Do they speak English?"

The Bishop said "yes."

"Do they have cricket?"  Then he mimed a cricket move.

The bishop shook his head sadly, but said "Kind of. They call it Hockey."

Fr Raj said "Good enough." 

So Fr Raj spread his arms like airplane wings, and flew to Canada.

(Exit Bishop)

Canada was way colder than India!  Fr Raj shivered, but with a big smile, he said, "This will be my new home!"

(Enter moose)

Suddenly, a lanky moose walked onto the stage. The audience declared, "It's a friggen moose!"

The moose bellowed.

(Enter Loon) 

Then a loon flapped over and landed in the pond, making loon sounds.

(Enter Canadian people) 

Canadian people stumbled around, saying "Sorry, eh?" to each other, and pointing out the moose.

Fr Raj shook his head, saying, "Well, it's still quieter than India!"

(exit animals, people, Enter Peter)

Then he met a man named Peter.  The audience gave Peter a standing ovation. Eventually, they sat down again and listened to the skit. Peter was smart, funny, talented and extremely good-looking.

Fr Raj said, "And humble too!" Everyone nodded enthusiastically.

Peter said, "Can we have a youth group at your church?"

Fr Raj said, "Sure! As you know, I live in the same building!"

Peter smiled mischievously. He said, "That's OK- we'll be quiet."

The audience laughed.

That night, the whole youth group counted down to seven O'Clock, before yelling "Happy New year!"

Fr Raj discreetly snuck out and played pickleball with his friends.

Other nights, Fr Raj would play Ultimate Frisbee with Peter and the youth.

(Exit Peter)

Fr Raj was a great preacher and pastor, and he loved being a priest.  But one day he died. No one knows how or when. The audience cried.

Fr Raj- Pray for us!

Peter Claver

Peter, Bull fighter. bull,  slave trader, slaves (3), Pope Paul III, Pope Urban VIII, Alonso, horse, slave owner

Peter Claver was born in Spain in 1580. 

(Enter bull, bull fighter)

He lived near Barcelona, where bullfighters would wave red capes and dodge angry bulls. The audience yelled "Olé!"

(Exit bull, bullfighter, enter Alphonsus)

Peter studied to be a priest. He was known for his intelligence and piety.  One day his friend Alphonsus came to him and said "Peter, I'm a prophet. God told me that you should go to New Spain and work in the colonies there." New Spain was what they called Latin america back then.

Peter shrugged and said "Ok!"  Then he sailed off to Columbia.

(Exit Alphonsus, enter slave trader, slaves)

But when Peter got there, he was shocked by what he saw!  Slave traders were bringing slaves from Africa to work in New Spain!  The slaves were made to dig up silver in the mines.

(Enter Pope Paul III and Pope Urban VIII).

Pope Paul III said "I condemn the slave trade!"

Pope Urban VIII said "Me too! In fact, I prohibit it!"

But the slave trader rubbed his hands together, saying "Are you kidding?  It makes so much money!  If I buy a slave for $2000 in Africa, I can sell him in the new world for $100,000!"

One of the slaves said. "Yeah, but you treat us like objects!"

Another said "The living conditions are terrible!"

A third said "And about 30% of us die when you take us across the ocean!"

The slave trader said "Oh well, the cost of doing business!"  Then turning to the popes, the slave trader said in a stage whisper "Also, you guys are both dead, so get off the stage"

The two Popes said "awww" and left with their heads down.

(Exit Popes, enter Alonso)

But a man named Alonso said "Peter, you can help me in my work! I can't stop the slave trade, so I go to the places where the slaves live! I make sure they are treated well."

Peter said "I'd rather go to the warf, and work with the slaves as they arrive! Get me a horse!"

(Enter horse)

When the audience saw the horse, they all said in unison "Peter, the horse is here!"

Alonso said "Why do you need a horse?  The warf is right there!"

Peter said "I don't need a horse, I just wanted everyone to say it."

The horse stamped her foot, winnied in disgust, and pranced away with her head in the air.

(Exit horse, Alonso, slave trader)

Peter would go to the ships as they arrived, full of slaves. Peter said "I am in the service of God- I too am a slave!"

One of the slaves said "We were told that when we got here, people would eat us!"

Peter said "No. But they will force you to work. I'm here to take care of you."

Peter would baptize many of the slaves.

(Enter slave owner)

Then Peter would say to the slave owners. "Now your slaves are Christians! You are required by law to treat them well and give them their civic rights."

Angrily, the slave owner shook his fist and growled.

One day Peter died. The slaves all cried. Even the slave owner said "This was a great man, who knew what it was to be a saint."

St Peter Claver- Pray for us!