Adam and Eve

God, Adam, animals (4), Eve, Serpent, angel, Tree of Knowledge, Tree of Life

(Enter God)

 In the beginning, there was just God. Then God made everything. 

(Enter Trees)

He made trees, including two special ones. One was the Tree of Life. The Tree of Life shimmered in the wind.  

The other was the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.  The tree stroked its chin in a knowing and mischievous way. 

(Enter animals.  Narrator does not tell animals what kind they are!)

Then God made animals.  Each animal behaved according to its unique characteristics.

Then God took some dust and moulded it into something. Then he breathed into it.

(Enter Adam lying where the dust thing was). The dust came alive and was a man!  Adam jumped to his feet.

God said, "Adam, you da man."

Adam flexed and demonstrated his rizz. 

But none of the animals seemed to notice. They all just walked around being their animal selves.  Adam named each of the animals, guessing what they were supposed to be. 

(Adam tries to guess each animal correctly. If he's wrong, the animal changes behaviour to match his guess.)

After naming all the animals, Adam said: "God, these animals are great and all, but I'm kind of lonely, you know?"

So God put Adam to sleep, removed one of his ribs, and carved a woman out of it.

(Enter Eve)

Eve flitted about flirtily, batting her eyes, shaking back her hair. Adam gawked, saying, "Wow. You are the most gorgeous creature on the planet."

Eve shyly said, "Oh, you."

Adam shrugged and said, "I mean, your closest competition was a giraffe, so..."

Then Adam flexed and showed his rizz.  Eve fanned herself and said, "Wow!  You are just stunning."

Adam said, "Darn tootin!"

Eve said, "I mean, compared to an orangutan"

But God said awkwardly, "Ok, that's enough. Guys, I made everything here for you! You can eat of any tree you want- except this one." With that, he pointed to the tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. "If you eat from this one, you will die."

Adam and Eve looked frightened. Eve pointed at the Tree of Life. "What about this one?"

God smiled. "Yes, that's the tree of Life!  That's how you will stay alive, forever!  Just don't eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Ok?"

Adam and Eve shrugged. "Ok!"

(Exit God, animals)

So Adam and Eve held hands and skipped all over stage.

(Enter serpent)

One day a serpent came along and said to Eve. "Hey Eve, you should really try this fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. It is so good!"

Eve said, "Well, shucks, talking snake! We can't! God said we'll die."

The serpent said, "You won't die. You'll have knowledge of Good and Evil. Knowledge is good, right? Don't you want to have knowledge of Evil? I mean, God knows everything. Don't you want to know everything and be more like God?"

Eve thought about that for a minute and said: "Yes, I do want to!" So she tasted the fruit.  "Wow, this is delicious!"

Eve turned to Adam. "Adam, try this! It's so good!"

Adam said, "Isn't that the forbidden fruit?"

Eve smiled mischievously. "You don't know what you're missing."

So Adam ate the fruit. Then suddenly, both he and Eve noticed that they were naked!  They screamed and hid.

(Enter God)

God came into the garden and said: "Hey, where is everybody?"

Adam shyly came onto stage, and said: "We're hiding, because we're naked!"

God looked angry. "Who told you you were naked? Have you been eating the forbidden fruit?"

Adam said, "It's not my fault- it's the woman who gave it to me!"

Eve came out of hiding and said, "It's not my fault! The talking snake told me to!"

The talking snake didn't have a leg to stand on.

After noticing that most of the audience didn't get the narrator's joke, the narrator went on.

God said, "For disobeying me, now you're going to be kicked out of the garden."

(Enter angel)

An angel carrying a flaming sword came and stood guard in front of the Tree of Life. 

God said, "Now, you are cut off from the tree of life. Farming will be hard, giving birth will be painful, and everyone will always hate snakes. But some day a descendant of a woman will crush the head of the serpent."

The serpent looked scared and said, "Oh No!"

The audience members whispered to each other, "God means Jesus! Some day Jesus will come and defeat Satan!"

The narrator looked at the audience, and nodded approval at their insight.

Adam and Eve cried as they slunk off the stage. Then God shook his head sadly and left. Only the two trees and the angel were left.

The Tree of Life looked at the Tree of Knowledge and said, "Nice work, idiot."

The Tree of Knowledge said, "Ah!  A talking Tree!"

The End.

OLVC ad

Johnny, campers (4), counsellor, team member

(enter Johnny)

This is Johnny. Johnny is a camper at OLVC.

Johnny was asleep in his cabin one day when he heard the sound of the bell. (Audience provides the sound.)

Johny jumped out of bed, got dressed, and rushed outside.

(Enter campers and counsellor)

There, Johnny found the other campers he had befriended on day one. And the coolest counsellor, a high school student, came over and did the secret camp handshake with Johnny. 

The counsellor said, "Today is going to be so much fun!"  

And all the campers said "Oh yeah!" and gave each other high fives.

After doing morning exercises and prayer, it was time for breakfast.  Breakfast was pancakes and sausages.

After breakfast, the day was filled with activities. Johnny and his friends went swimming in the lake, canoing, played disc golf, and tried archery. During free time, they played Gaga Ball and 9 Square in the Air, or tag on the parks, or basketball, or soccer. 

Othertimes they would pray, or go to Mass. There was even confession. Sometimes during prayer, Johnny would see a bald eagle or hear the sound of a grouse. (Get audience to make a grouse sound)

But Johnny's favourite was the forest games. They played flag wars, where you had to run deep into enemy territory to find your opponent's flag before they caught you. Johnny was so fast, deking everybody out, even the counsellor, that he found the flag and ran it out, winning the game for his team!  The audience gave him a standing ovation.

In the evening, everybody gathered at the campfire pit.

(Enter team member)

A team member taught them goofy campfire songs, like Boom Chicka Boom and Blindman. Johnny loved how dark it got at OLVC. You could really see the stars. Sometimes a bat would even fly over! (Audience makes a bat sound).

When it was time to go home at the end of the week, Johnny was sad. But he shook hands with his friends and said, "See you again next year!"

 

Fr Rajesh

 Raj, brothers (2), sister, elephant, tiger, monkeys (2), Indian people, Bishop, moose, loon, Canadian people, Peter

There once was a boy named Raj.  Raj waved at the audience. 

(Enter brothers and sister)

Raj lived with his 2 brothers and 1 sister. They all loved eating a spicy indian dish called Biryani. Sometimes they fought, and sometimes they hugged. They hugged and hugged. It got very awkward.

But when he was only in grade 10, he decided to become a priest, so he joined the seminary.

(Exit brothers and sister)

Raj lived in India, where there were 

(Enter elephant)

elephants that trumpeted

(Enter tiger) 

Tigers that roared

(Enter Monkeys)

And monkeys that hopped about and screeched

(Enter Indian people)

And Indian people who honked their horns all day and night.

The elephant, the tiger, the monkeys and the people all made their noise, while Raj raised his hands and said, "I want to have a quiet life!"

All the animals and people fell silent and humbly apologized before leaving the stage.

(Exit animals and people, enter Bishop)

A Bishop ordained Raj as a priest, and he became known as Fr Raj. The Bishop said, "Fr Raj, would you like to move to Canada?" 

Fr Raj shrugged and said, Do they speak English?"

The Bishop said "yes."

"Do they have cricket?"  Then he mimed a cricket move.

The bishop shook his head sadly, but said "Kind of. They call it Hockey."

Fr Raj said "Good enough." 

So Fr Raj spread his arms like airplane wings, and flew to Canada.

(Exit Bishop)

Canada was way colder than India!  Fr Raj shivered, but with a big smile, he said, "This will be my new home!"

(Enter moose)

Suddenly, a lanky moose walked onto the stage. The audience declared, "It's a friggen moose!"

The moose bellowed.

(Enter Loon) 

Then a loon flapped over and landed in the pond, making loon sounds.

(Enter Canadian people) 

Canadian people stumbled around, saying "Sorry, eh?" to each other, and pointing out the moose.

Fr Raj shook his head, saying, "Well, it's still quieter than India!"

(exit animals, people, Enter Peter)

Then he met a man named Peter.  The audience gave Peter a standing ovation. Eventually, they sat down again and listened to the skit. Peter was smart, funny, talented and extremely good-looking.

Fr Raj said, "And humble too!" Everyone nodded enthusiastically.

Peter said, "Can we have a youth group at your church?"

Fr Raj said, "Sure! As you know, I live in the same building!"

Peter smiled mischievously. He said, "That's OK- we'll be quiet."

The audience laughed.

That night, the whole youth group counted down to seven O'Clock, before yelling "Happy New year!"

Fr Raj discreetly snuck out and played pickleball with his friends.

Other nights, Fr Raj would play Ultimate Frisbee with Peter and the youth.

(Exit Peter)

Fr Raj was a great preacher and pastor, and he loved being a priest.  But one day he died. No one knows how or when. The audience cried.

Fr Raj- Pray for us!

Peter Claver

Peter, Bull fighter. bull,  slave trader, slaves (3), Pope Paul III, Pope Urban VIII, Alonso, horse, slave owner

Peter Claver was born in Spain in 1580. 

(Enter bull, bull fighter)

He lived near Barcelona, where bullfighters would wave red capes and dodge angry bulls. The audience yelled "Olé!"

(Exit bull, bullfighter, enter Alphonsus)

Peter studied to be a priest. He was known for his intelligence and piety.  One day his friend Alphonsus came to him and said "Peter, I'm a prophet. God told me that you should go to New Spain and work in the colonies there." New Spain was what they called Latin america back then.

Peter shrugged and said "Ok!"  Then he sailed off to Columbia.

(Exit Alphonsus, enter slave trader, slaves)

But when Peter got there, he was shocked by what he saw!  Slave traders were bringing slaves from Africa to work in New Spain!  The slaves were made to dig up silver in the mines.

(Enter Pope Paul III and Pope Urban VIII).

Pope Paul III said "I condemn the slave trade!"

Pope Urban VIII said "Me too! In fact, I prohibit it!"

But the slave trader rubbed his hands together, saying "Are you kidding?  It makes so much money!  If I buy a slave for $2000 in Africa, I can sell him in the new world for $100,000!"

One of the slaves said. "Yeah, but you treat us like objects!"

Another said "The living conditions are terrible!"

A third said "And about 30% of us die when you take us across the ocean!"

The slave trader said "Oh well, the cost of doing business!"  Then turning to the popes, the slave trader said in a stage whisper "Also, you guys are both dead, so get off the stage"

The two Popes said "awww" and left with their heads down.

(Exit Popes, enter Alonso)

But a man named Alonso said "Peter, you can help me in my work! I can't stop the slave trade, so I go to the places where the slaves live! I make sure they are treated well."

Peter said "I'd rather go to the warf, and work with the slaves as they arrive! Get me a horse!"

(Enter horse)

When the audience saw the horse, they all said in unison "Peter, the horse is here!"

Alonso said "Why do you need a horse?  The warf is right there!"

Peter said "I don't need a horse, I just wanted everyone to say it."

The horse stamped her foot, winnied in disgust, and pranced away with her head in the air.

(Exit horse, Alonso, slave trader)

Peter would go to the ships as they arrived, full of slaves. Peter said "I am in the service of God- I too am a slave!"

One of the slaves said "We were told that when we got here, people would eat us!"

Peter said "No. But they will force you to work. I'm here to take care of you."

Peter would baptize many of the slaves.

(Enter slave owner)

Then Peter would say to the slave owners. "Now your slaves are Christians! You are required by law to treat them well and give them their civic rights."

Angrily, the slave owner shook his fist and growled.

One day Peter died. The slaves all cried. Even the slave owner said "This was a great man, who knew what it was to be a saint."

St Peter Claver- Pray for us!

Priscilla

  Priscilla, Aquila (male), Peter, Jews, Paul, Apollos, Claudius (male), Romans, Nero

Disclaimer- Priscilla is a minor character in the book of Acts and mentioned in Paul's letters. Not much is really known about her, 

(Enter Priscilla, Aquila)

There once was a woman named Priscilla. She was married to a man named Aquila. They were very much in love. They lived in Rome, and enjoyed walking along the Tiber river, watching the birds. Priscilla sighed, and lay her head on Aquila's shoulder, saying "Aquila, I am just so happy!"  Together, Priscilla and Aquila made tents for a living. It was an intense relationship.

The audience laughed at the narrator's joke. But some audience members didn't laugh, so the kids around them explained the joke to them.

(Enter Jews)

They were Jewish, and met with other Jews in Rome in a synagogue. Together they would recite a quote called the Shema. "Hear, oh Israel, the Lord your God is one God."

(Enter Peter)

One day a man named Peter arrived from Jerusalem. Peter said "Great news everyone!  The Messiah has come to Jerusalem!"

The Jews all celebrated the good news.

Peter said "He was a man named Jesus, and the Sadducees and the Romans realized he was a threat, so they had him crucified. But he rose from the dead, and then went to Heaven, and he's ruling as king there!"

One of the Jews said sarcastically "They killed him? Some Messiah!"

But Peter said "He really is the Messiah! Turns out, he was God"

Priscilla was shocked. "God? Like God God?"

The Jews said adamantly. "There is only one God!"

Peter said "Yes, that's true, but it turns out that one God is three persons. It's pretty complicated."

But the Jews said "Jesus was not God!"

Peter said "Was so!"

The Jews said "Was not!"

Peter, Priscilla and Aquila said "Was so!" 

(Enter Claudius)

The two groups continued saying "Not!" and "So!" until Claudius the emperor finally shouted "That's enough! You Jews and your bickering are nothing but trouble! Get out of Rome!

So all the Jews and the Christians, including Priscilla, Aquilla, and Peter, left Rome.

(Exit all but Claudius, Enter Nero)

Nero approached Claudius and said "Good work dad! You're such a great emperor. Here is a plate of mushrooms that Mom fried up for you!"

Claudius said "Thank you son!" He tasted the mushrooms, and then said "Wait! These are poisonous mushrooms!" Then Claudius spasmed and foamed at the mouth and fell down dead. 

(Exit Claudius)

Nero pretended to be shocked. He said "Oh darn! Now I guess I'm the emperor. I sure hope my Mom and wife don't also die by some kind of unfortunate accident." Then he rubbed his hands together menacingly and laughed like a maniac.

(Exit Nero, enter Priscilla, Aquilla and Peter)

The Christians crept back onto stage. 

Aquila said "Can Jews come back to Rome now?"

Peter shrugged, and said "Claudius is dead! What could go wrong now!"

(Enter Paul)

Eventually, Paul came to Rome. He shook hands with Aquila and Priscilla, and said "You're tentmakers? I'm a tentmaker! We should all travel together!"

Aquila said "I guess that's what you call a tent-ative agreement!"

The audience laughed, except the ones who didn't get it. The narrator looked at them with disdain, then continued the story.

(Enter Apollo)

One day a Christian named Apollo was teaching about Jesus. 

Paul said "No, that's not quite right. I'll have Priscilla explain it to you."

Apollo was offended. "You would have a woman teach a man?"

Priscilla just smiled and said "It's Ok, little guy. I'll explain."

(Enter Romans)

One day a fire broke out in Rome!  Everyone on stage ran around yelling "Fire! Fire!"

Eventually the fire went out. Priscilla cried "Now what will we do?" Aquila hugged her to console her.

(Enter Nero)

Nero swaggered in, saying "Don't worry, guys, I got this. So 70% of our city has burned to the ground. No big deal! We'll rebuild it better! In fact, I'm going to build a massive palace for myself, with a private lake, and a giant naked statue of myself!"

The Romans looked shocked. One said "But everybody is homeless now!"

Another Roman said "I think Nero burned the city on purpose for an excuse to build his mansion!"

Nero faked that he was offended. "No! I didn't burn the city! It was the Christians!"

The Christians all cried out "What?"

But the Romans said "Kill them!"

So they captured Peter, and crucified him upside down.

(Exit Peter)

Then they captured Paul, and chopped his head off.

(Exit Paul)

Apollos, Priscilla and Aquila all ran off and hid.

(Exit Romans, Nero)

Priscilla and Aquila and Apollos all met together in the Catacombes, tunnels under the city of Rome.

Apollos said "It's too dangerous for us to be seen together. Let's meet in these tunnels where we can bury the dead and celebrate Mass in secret."

Aquila shook his head, saying "I don't know if the church in Rome can survive!"

But Priscilla drew an anchor on the wall of the catacombs, and said "Jesus is our hope. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”

The Church in Rome did survive, and today 2000 years later the Bishop of Rome remains the leader of the Church.

St Priscilla- pray for us!

St Damien of Molokai

Damien, Superior, Hawaiian Girl, Bishop. nice lepers (3), mean lepers (3), pig

(Enter Damien)

Damien was a Belgian priest.  As a Belgian, Damien said "I love waffles, chocolate, and beer!"

(Enter superior)

One day the superior in his order said "Damien, I want you to be a missionary in Hawaii."

Damien was very excited. He did a little dance. But he said "Hawaii? Do they have waffles, chocolate and beer?"

The superior winced and said "They're better known for their coconuts, pineapples and Mai Tai." 

Damien looked confused. He asked "What's Mai Tai?"

The superior shrugged and said "I have no idea. It's just in the script."

(Exit superior, enter Hawaiian girl)

When Damien arrived in Hawaii, he was greeted by an extremely attractive Hawaiian girl. She danced up to him, waving her hands and swiveling her hips as she did that Hula. She placed a garland of flowers around his neck. Damien blushed, and said "Wow, I think I'm going to like it here!"

The Hawaiian girl giggled, and Hula'd her way off the stage. 

(Exit Hawaiian girl, enter Bishop)

The Bishop greeted Damien and said "Welcome to Oahu!"

Damien looked around alarmed. "Oahu! Oh no, I thought this was Hawaii!"

The bishop said "Oahu is one of the many Islands of Hawaii, the others are Maui, Molokai..."

Damien grinned and said "I hope to see them all."

The Bishop shook his head. "Well, you won't be going to Molokai."

Damien asked "Why not?"

The Bishop said "It's the home of the lepers."

Damien got excited. He said "Cool! I've never seen a leopard! I saw a tiger once, but never a spotted cat."

The Bishop frowned and said. "Not leopards. Lepers. They have different spots. They live alone on the Island of Molokai so that no one else will catch their disease."

Damien looked concerned, and said "Do they have a priest?"

The Bishop shook his head and said "No- no one can go there. They'll get sick."

Damien put up his hand and said "I'll go!"

The bishop said "Damien, that's very generous. But these people are sick, both physically and spiritually. No one can reach them."

But Damien insisted, saying "Please send me."

(Exit Bishop, Enter Lepers)

When Damien got to Molokai, the lepers approached him like zombies.  Their skin was rotting, they smelled bad, and they groaned as they crept towards him.

But Damien was not afraid. He said "Hey guys, I'm here to help you build up your community!"

One of the lepers said "Why would you help us? We're dying, nobody cares about us."

Damien put his hand on the lepers shoulder and said "God does."

So Damien helped the lepers fix up their houses, and made coffins so that if someone died they could be buried in dignity. One of the nice lepers said "That guy can fix anything!"

But some of the mean lepers said "Who is he to come here and tell us how to live? Let's trash his house!"

(Enter pig)

So when Damien wasn't looking, they grabbed the ugliest, stinkiest pig they could find, and released it in Damien's house.  The pig squealed and snorted and ran around the house, getting mud and poop on everything. 

When Damien saw it, he yelled, and he grabbed the pig, and he cooked it. Then he invited all the lepers, including the mean ones, to share in his meal.

(Exit pig)

Damien treated the lepers with dignity, even when other people treated them with discuss. And he did not judge them. Soon even the mean lepers grew to appreciate him. But one day, Damien realized he himself had leprosy. 

Damien could no longer leave the Island, and he would get sicker and sicker.

(Enter Bishop)

When the Bishop came by on a ship, he would not come ashore. So Damien shouted his confession to the Bishop over the water. 

Damien shouted "Forgive me father for I have sinned!"

The bishop shouted back "I absolve you!"

(Exit bishop)

Damien died of leprosy when he was only 49 years old.

St Damien of Molokai- Pray for us! 

Pope Leo XIV

  Pope Leo XIV, mom, dad, brothers (Louis, John,) Bishop, poor (2), Guerillas (2), soldiers (2), llama, Pope Francis

Enter Pope, mom, dad, brothers

Pope Leo's birth name was Robert Prevost.  He grew up in Chicago, with his mom, Mildred, his dad Louis, and his two brothers, Louis and John.

Living in Chicago in the 60's, Roberts family loved baseball, and their favorite team was the Chicago White Sox was their favorite team. The family watched the games together, and cheered when the White Sox did well. The White Sox were one of the best teams in the Major Leagues... but the New York Yankees were better.

His Dad, Louis, yelled at the narrator, saying, "Hey!  Don't let my boys hear you saying that!"  Dad pointed a warning finger at the narrator.

The narrator nervously went on reading the script.

Robert also played tennis.  And from the time he was little, he and his brothers would play Mass, pretending to offer the host on the altar. Mom pinched his cheeks and said, "I always knew he'd become a priest."  

(Exit Family)

Robert was also very smart. In university, he got a degree in Math and Science, (the audience applauded politely) and then a Masters in Divinity (The audience applauded more), and then a degree in Canon Law. (The audience grew enthusiastic and applauded, saying "Wow!")

But Robert was modest, and he said, "Oh, stop. I can almost feel my brain flexing!"

Then he said to the audience, "I also taught high school Math and Physics! Anyone want a free lesson? Anyone?"

Everyone in the audience avoided making eye contact. Someone coughed awkwardly.

Disappointed, Robert sighed and said "It's not easy being a math teacher. We have too many problems. If you ask me, without geometry, life is pointless. But I'm over it- like a numerator."

Only the nerdy kids laughed.

(Enter Bishop)

One day a Bishop laid his hands on Robert, and ordained him a priest.  Now Robert could do Mass for real!

(Exit Bishop, enter poor, soldiers, guerillas)

Fr Robert went to Peru to work with the poor.  Peru was violent in those days. Soldiers shot at guerillas, who threw bombs, and yelled "We are the shining path!" The soldiers and the guerillas were all mean to the poor, who huddled near Fr Robert. Fr Robert hugged and consoled them. 

(Exit poor, soldiers and guerillas. Enter llama.)

Fr Robert found a llama, and climbed a mountain with it. The llama spat and said "Yay! I'm a llama again!"

Fr Robert said "Quiet down Cusco. You're not supposed to talk in this story."

When he got to the top of the mountain, Fr Robert saw the famous Machu Pichu. He took a selfie with his llama, flexing for the camera.

The girls in the audience said "Wow Fr Robert! You looks so Machu in that Pichu!"

Fr Robert blushed and said "Ok, girls, I'm a priest you know."

(Exit llama, enter Pope Francis)

One day Fr Robert met Pope Francis. Pope Francis said "You're such a great priest! You should be a bishop!"

Then later Pope Francis said "You should be a cardinal!"

Then a while later Pope Francis said "You should be the guy in charge of appointing other bishops!"

Cardinal Robert pumped his fist, and said to the audience "Ok, I'm going to need some new bishops!"

Then cardinal Robert chose three people from the audience to be bishops and come up on stage.

Then he thought about it some more, and he pointed at one of his bishops and said "Actually, no, go sit down." Then he picked a replacement bishop.

Then Pope Francis died.

(Exit Francis)

Cardinal Robert and the other Bishops (Cardinals) got together in a huddle called a conclave. After a short time, the bishops turned to the audience and declared "Habemus Papam!"

The crowd cheered!  several members of the audience said "That's Latin for 'we have a Pope'!"

Cardinal Robert said "Call me Leo XIV (Fourteen). I choose the name Leo because Leo XIII (thirteen) emphasized the rights of workers and of the poor and I want to further that legacy."

Pope Leo XIV was formally installed as Pope on May 18, 2025