Adam and Eve

God, Adam, animals (4), Eve, Serpent, angel, Tree of Knowledge, Tree of Life

(Enter God)

 In the beginning, there was just God. Then God made everything. 

(Enter Trees)

He made trees, including two special ones. One was the Tree of Life. The Tree of Life shimmered in the wind.  

The other was the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.  The tree stroked its chin in a knowing and mischievous way. 

(Enter animals.  Narrator does not tell animals what kind they are!)

Then God made animals.  Each animal behaved according to its unique characteristics.

Then God took some dust and moulded it into something. Then he breathed into it.

(Enter Adam lying where the dust thing was). The dust came alive and was a man!  Adam jumped to his feet.

God said, "Adam, you da man."

Adam flexed and demonstrated his rizz. 

But none of the animals seemed to notice. They all just walked around being their animal selves.  Adam named each of the animals, guessing what they were supposed to be. 

(Adam tries to guess each animal correctly. If he's wrong, the animal changes behaviour to match his guess.)

After naming all the animals, Adam said: "God, these animals are great and all, but I'm kind of lonely, you know?"

So God put Adam to sleep, removed one of his ribs, and carved a woman out of it.

(Enter Eve)

Eve flitted about flirtily, batting her eyes, shaking back her hair. Adam gawked, saying, "Wow. You are the most gorgeous creature on the planet."

Eve shyly said, "Oh, you."

Adam shrugged and said, "I mean, your closest competition was a giraffe, so..."

Then Adam flexed and showed his rizz.  Eve fanned herself and said, "Wow!  You are just stunning."

Adam said, "Darn tootin!"

Eve said, "I mean, compared to an orangutan"

But God said awkwardly, "Ok, that's enough. Guys, I made everything here for you! You can eat of any tree you want- except this one." With that, he pointed to the tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. "If you eat from this one, you will die."

Adam and Eve looked frightened. Eve pointed at the Tree of Life. "What about this one?"

God smiled. "Yes, that's the tree of Life!  That's how you will stay alive, forever!  Just don't eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Ok?"

Adam and Eve shrugged. "Ok!"

(Exit God, animals)

So Adam and Eve held hands and skipped all over stage.

(Enter serpent)

One day a serpent came along and said to Eve. "Hey Eve, you should really try this fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. It is so good!"

Eve said, "Well, shucks, talking snake! We can't! God said we'll die."

The serpent said, "You won't die. You'll have knowledge of Good and Evil. Knowledge is good, right? Don't you want to have knowledge of Evil? I mean, God knows everything. Don't you want to know everything and be more like God?"

Eve thought about that for a minute and said: "Yes, I do want to!" So she tasted the fruit.  "Wow, this is delicious!"

Eve turned to Adam. "Adam, try this! It's so good!"

Adam said, "Isn't that the forbidden fruit?"

Eve smiled mischievously. "You don't know what you're missing."

So Adam ate the fruit. Then suddenly, both he and Eve noticed that they were naked!  They screamed and hid.

(Enter God)

God came into the garden and said: "Hey, where is everybody?"

Adam shyly came onto stage, and said: "We're hiding, because we're naked!"

God looked angry. "Who told you you were naked? Have you been eating the forbidden fruit?"

Adam said, "It's not my fault- it's the woman who gave it to me!"

Eve came out of hiding and said, "It's not my fault! The talking snake told me to!"

The talking snake didn't have a leg to stand on.

After noticing that most of the audience didn't get the narrator's joke, the narrator went on.

God said, "For disobeying me, now you're going to be kicked out of the garden."

(Enter angel)

An angel carrying a flaming sword came and stood guard in front of the Tree of Life. 

God said, "Now, you are cut off from the tree of life. Farming will be hard, giving birth will be painful, and everyone will always hate snakes. But some day a descendant of a woman will crush the head of the serpent."

The serpent looked scared and said, "Oh No!"

The audience members whispered to each other, "God means Jesus! Some day Jesus will come and defeat Satan!"

The narrator looked at the audience, and nodded approval at their insight.

Adam and Eve cried as they slunk off the stage. Then God shook his head sadly and left. Only the two trees and the angel were left.

The Tree of Life looked at the Tree of Knowledge and said, "Nice work, idiot."

The Tree of Knowledge said, "Ah!  A talking Tree!"

The End.