St Michael

 John, Emperor, grasshoppers (2), beast, drunken woman, Mary, Dragon, minions (3), Michael Archangel, female angels (3), Jesus

(Opening Scene-  John and Emperor on stage)

John was one of the apostles, and spent his time telling everyone in the audience about Jesus.  The emperor said “please don’t do that,” but John kept doing it anyway.  Finally the emperor said “Ok, now you’ve done it!  You will have to live alone on a deserted Island called Patmos, and there you will die!”  The emperor laughed like a maniac, did a little victory dance, and said "Oh yeah, get down with your bad self."  Then he left the stage.

(Scene Change!)

While living on Patmos, John spent a lot of time praying, and one day he had a vision from God!  He saw all kinds of weird things-  (enter grasshoppers) like giant grasshoppers that shot fire out of their mouths and stung people with their tails, (enter Beast and woman) a beast that was part lion, part leopard and part bear, and a drunken woman who rode around on the beasts back yelling “Blasphemies!  Blasphemies!” 

The beast suddenly bucked her off and ate her.

(Exit beast, woman, grasshoppers, enter Mary, Dragon, Minions)

After all those things were gone, John saw the heavens open, and there was Mary, the mother of Jesus!  She was pregnant, and in pain in child birth.  She was clothed with the sun, stood on the moon, and had a crown of 12 stars. 

An evil dragon grinned at her, and said in a hissing, shrieking, dragony voice “As soon as you have your baby, I am going to eat him!”  The devils minions cackled with delight, rubbing their hands together.

(Enter Michael, and female angels)

Suddenly, Michael Archangel jumped into the scene, yelling “Here I am to save the day!”

Mary said “Are you a ninja turtle?”

Michael said “Uhhh- no.  I am an angel.  The ninja turtle was named after me.”

Now Michael had a great big sword, and he was exceedingly buff. As he flexed, all the female angels used to squeeze his muscles and say “He’s so dreamy!”

But the dragon screamed and pointing at Michael said “Minions!  Get them!”

An epic battle ensued, in super slow motion. 

The minions charged at the angels, trying to claw their faces off.  The audience gasped!  The angels all had swords, and they fought valiantly, while Michael fought the dragon.  Michael stabbed the dragon in the heart, who shrieked, and said “Run away, run away!”  The minions were flung down to the earth, where they shrieked in horror.

(Minions, dragon exit)

Suddenly Mary finished giving birth, and her son was Jesus!  (Enter Jesus) Jesus gave Michael a high five, and said “Great work buddy!  From now on, You are the protector of the Church!”

So Mary and the angels cheered, and they all had a group hug.

St Michael the Archangel- Pray for us!