Esther

Esther, Mordecai, Haman (Hey-Man), Xerxes, Vashti, Jews (5), Persians (5)  Beautiful girls (3) herald

(Enter Xerxes, Persians, Haman, Vashti)

There once was a very powerful king named Xerxes.  Xerxes was the king of all the Persians.  The Persians asked the king in unison "Oh, mighty king!  Persia is the most powerful country in all the world!  How did you come to rule it?"

"I ran". The king said. All the Persians laughed. But Vashti, Xerxes' wife, did not laugh.  She just shook her head disdainfully.

Xerxes looked at his wife and said "Laugh, woman!"

But Vashti said "No.  Your joke isn't funny.  You didn't run to be King... you inherited the throne. And Persia won't be called Iran until 1935... which is like 2400 years from now!  Even if your joke were funny, no one would get it!  These people only laughed to flatter your enormous ego!"

Xerxes went into a rage, and he said "Woman, I hereby banish you from my presence, and not only from my presence, but from my entire empire, the largest in the history of the world!"

The crowd gasped. Vashti ran away crying.

(Exit Vashti)

Then Xerxes pointed to one of his servants, the one named Haman, and said "You-  what's your name?"

Haman said "Haman."

Xerxes said "Hey. What's your name?"

Haman said "Haman."

King Xerxes said "Hey, man. Now answer me- what's your name?"

Haman said "My name is Haman."

King Xerxes said "I know. I was making a joke."

The Persians all laughed.  But Vashti yelled from off stage "Not funny!"

Xerxes said "Haman, I need a new wife, because that last one was disobedient."

Haman said "I happen to have a list of all the most beautiful women in the kingdom..."

Xerxes said "Why would you have a list like that?  Never mind. Well, bring them to me!"

(Enter beautiful girls and Esther)

Haman said "your majesty, check out these babes".  The girls giggled, while Esther just waved  Then Haman chose one of the giggling girls, and said "I personally think this one is smoking hot!"

But Xerxes was overcome by the sheer beauty of Esther.  He got down on one knee, took Esthers hand in his own, and said "Young lady!  You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen!  Will you marry me?"

Before she could answer, Haman said "Remember, Esther, if you say no you'll be banished."

So Esther said "Yes, your majesty!  I would love to be your wife!"

Xerxes said "Excellent!  Now go do wifely things- cook something or make a quilt.  I'll call you when I want you!"

(Exit all but Esther.  Enter Mordecai)

Esther said "Mordecai, did you see what happened? I had to marry the king! I don't know how to be a queen!"

But Mordecai said "Esther, who knows?  Maybe God called you to be queen for some reason we don't yet know!"

(Exit Esther, Enter Jews, Persians, Haman)

Haman liked to parade around town, showing off how rich he was and what great outfits he wore.  He'd announce himself saying "Here I come!  I'm Haman, friend of the King!  Everybody bow, show me respect!"

All the Jews and Persians bowed when Haman came by, but Mordecai would not.  Haman went to Mordecai and said "Bow your head, Jew!"

But Mordecai just stood his ground, staring Haman in they eye. Haman pointed at Mordecai and said "Listen, Jew, I'm gonna get my revenge on you."  Then Haman laughed like a madman.

(Exit Haman, enter herald)

Sometime later  a herald walked out and said in a British accent "Here ye, Here ye.  2 weeks from this date it will be lawful for any Persian to murder any Jew, and steal the property of the Jew they killed.  Sincerely, Haman, friend of the king."

The Persians cheered!  The Jews cried.  Mordecai said "Wait, they can't do that!"

The herald said "I'm afraid they can!  It is sealed by the king, and so is irrevocable! In other news, Haman has built a gallows 23 meters tall from which he will hang you.  Sorry for your luck!"

Mordecai said "We'll see about that!"

 (Exit all but Mordecai.  Enter Esther)

Mordecai ran to Esther, fell on his knees, and said "Please!  Esther!  Do something!  Haman has made it so that we will all be killed!"

Esther said "But what can I do?"

Mordecai said "You're the queen!  Tell the king what happened, and he'll protect us!"

Esther said "But the king hasn't called me!  If I go to him without being called, he could kill me!"

Mordecai put his hands on Esther's shoulders, looked her deep in the eyes, and put his face uncomfortably close to hers.

Mordecai said "Esther, what if God has given you this role for such a time as this?"

(Exit Mordecai, enter Xerxes and Haman)

Xerxes sat on his royal throne, with Haman standing very pleased beside him.  Esther entered the throne room, trembling, and approached the king.

Haman said "Your majesty, the queen approaches without being summoned!  The law says she should die!  What will you do?"

But Xerxes extended his arm to her, and said "Come to me, my snookums"

Relieved, Esther approached the king.

Xerxes said "Would you like to sit on my royal lap?"

Esther said "Your highness, I come with terrible news!  One of your advisors has tricked you, and has ordered that I and all my family should be put to death!"

Xerxes stood up and roared "What?  Who could do such a thing!"

Esther pointed at Haman, and said "He did it.  He ordered that the Jews should be killed, and I am Jewish."

Haman looked terrified.  He said "I didn't know you were Jewish!"  Then he threw himself at Esther's feet, and said "Please!  I had no idea! Have mercy!"

Then Xerxes bellowed "Are you attacking my wife right in front of me?  Guards!  Guards!"

(Enter Persians)

The Persians ran in and grabbed Haman.  Xerxes said "Kill this man, and give all his property to my wife, Esther!"  So the Persians took Haman, and hung him from his own 23 meter gallows.

The king sat back in his throne exhausted, and said "Esther, I will allow you to write a new law so that no one hurts you or your people.  I'm so sorry for this."

But Esther said "You were wonderful!  Please, may I crawl onto your royal lap now?"

And she did.

Telemachus

Telemachus (m), Gladiator, the Spaniard, Ignatius of Antioch (m) , Lion, Perpetua (f), Felicity(f) , mad cow, Emperor Constantine (m), Emperor Honorius (m), announcer, guards 2

Audience has a large part to play as well, so be ready to participate, and then be quiet to hear the actors on stage.

Disclaimer;  The following story combines a number of stories which took place over hundreds of years in various locations within the Roman empire. 

Everyone in the audience was excited.  They squirmed and jostled each other, trying to get a good view of the stadium floor. Ever since the Colosseum had been built by Jewish slaves in the year 80, Roman citizens had gathered to see the spectacle.

Still, there was no one on stage.

Someone in the audience called out "On with the show!"

Another said "I want to see someone fight a jaguar!"

Someone else said "Remember that time they flooded the whole arena and did a naval battle?"

Everyone responded at once "Boy, I do!  It was awesome!"

Suddenly the rowdy crowd grew quiet as the announcer stepped out onto stage. (enter announcer)

The announcer said loudly "Friends, Romans, Countrymen!  Lend me your ears!" Then the announcer added in song "this is the greatest show!"

(Enter guards, Ignatius)  The crowd applauded and cheered and the guards dragged Ignatius onto stage. The announcer said "Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Ignatius of Antioch, a despicable Christian!"

The crowd booed.

The announcer said "and now for the mane event!" (Enter Lion)

 Suddenly a lion pounced onto the stage.

Ignatius said "It will grind my bones like wheat for bread!"

The lion roared, then pounced on Ignatius, and bit his face off.

The crowd cheered as the guards removed the body of Ignatius and escorted the lion off stage.

(exit lion, Ignatius, enter Perpetua and Felicity)

The announcer said "That's not all! These two young ladies are both Christians!  Watching them die will be udderly delightful!"

(Enter mad cow) Suddenly a mad cow entered the stage, mooing loudly, and then it's moos turned into maniacal laughter.  The cow charged at the girls, and gored them with it's horns.  But the girls did not die.

The announcer said "What's that? not dead?  Bring out the gladiators!"

(enter gladiator and Spaniard)  so the gladiator and the Spaniard each took swords, and killed the girls with them. (Exit cow, Perpetua, Felicity)

The Spaniard turned to the audience, and said "Are you not entertained?"

Just then emperor Constantine walked in said "I am now your emperor!  and I am a christian!"

The announcer said "awkward."

Constantine said "From now on, no killing Christians in the Colloseum."

The audience said "Awwww".

Constantine said "It's ok!  we'll still have gladiator battles!"

The audience said "Yay!"

But then Constantine died. (exit Constantine, enter Honorius).

Some time later, Honorius said "I'm the emperor now! To celebrate let's have gladiator battles!  Well, chop chop, let's move boys!"

So the gladiator and the Spaniard began having an epic sword battle in super slow motion.

(Enter Telemachus)  Suddenly Telemachus ran in and yelled "stop!"

Everybody froze. Honorius said "who are you?"

Telemachus said "I'm some random monk from the desert who just happened to be walking by. These gladiator battles are an outrage and must stop."

The crowd sat in stunned silence. Then someone yelled 'kill the monk!"

So the crowd, the gladiators, the guards, and the announcer all picked up rocks, and began throwing them at Telemachus, who crumpled and died.  His body remained on the floor.

Honorius said  "quiet down everyone!  I think that monk had a point!  Well done, no more gladiator battles!."  So no one ever had gladiator battles again, and everyone had a group hug.

Saints Ignatius, Perpetua, Felicity and Telemachus-  Pray for us!

Marguerite d'Youville

Marguerite, Francois, children (2),  Mother in law,  blind woman, poor, orphans, sisters (2), Other people, English soldier, French Soldier, English commander

(Enter Marguerite)

There once was a beautiful young lady named Marguerite Varennes.  Marguerite lived in Montreal, and she spoke in a ridiculous French Canadian accent, saying things like 'I lurve Celine Dion" and "I want more of dzi poutine!"

(Enter Francois)

One day, a very dashing young man named Francois approached Marguerite, got down on one knee, took her hand, and said, in his own outlandish accent, "Oh Marguerite, you are sweeter than a sugar shack on a crisp March morning! Won't you marry me?"  Then he kissed her on the hand.

Marguerite said, "Zut alors! You are so charming! Bien oui!"

So Marguerite and Francois were married.

(Enter Mother-in-Law, sons)

Soon after, her pushy mother-in-law moved in, and Marguerite had two very needy children who always wanted her attention. 

Francois did not help her. He was too busy making and selling alcohol illegally.

Eventually, Francois died.

(Exit mother-in-law, Francois, children.  Enter Blind woman)

One day Marguerite met a blind woman, who said "Please won't you help a poor blind woman who cannot work for herself?"

Marguerite said, "You poor dear. Come and live in my home."

(Enter poor, sick, orphans)

Before long Marguerite was bringing poor people, sick people, and orphans into her home.

(Enter sisters)

Soon other women joined Marguerite serving the needy in her home. It was a very crowded house!

(Enter other people) 

But the other people in Montreal were mean to them, even throwing rocks at them.  They said things like "Stop bringing all these needy people into our neighborhood!"  and "What are you doing Marguerite?  Selling them your husbands illegal alcohol?"  They all laughed. Then they started saying "You women are just a bunch of drunks!"

Now the word drunk in French is "grises", so the mean people started calling them "Les Grises."

But Marguerite had an idea.  She said to her sisters "Sisters, if they want to call us 'les grises', let's be 'les grises'.

Her sisters were shocked. They said, "you can't be serious! You want us to be drunks?"

Marguerite said,"Not at all!  But grises does not only mean drunk.  It also means grey!  Let's all dress in grey habits!"

The sisters giggled, and thanked Marguerite for that French lesson.  Ever since then they have been known as the Grey Nuns.

(Exit other people, Enter English soldier)

One day while Marguerite was sewing a tent, an English soldier came running into the hospital, looking for somewhere to hide. Marguerite helped him hide under her sewing.

(Enter French soldier) Then a French soldier came running in.  He said, "Did you see an Englishman come through here?"

Marguerite pointed out the back door.  The Frenchman said "Merci!"  and ran off. When it was safe, the Englishman popped out from under the tent and thanked Marguerite, who saved his life.

(Exit French soldier, enter English Commander)

Some time later, the whole English army gathered outside the hospital.  The Commander yelled. "We know that you are hiding and helping French soldiers! We have canons aimed at your hospital, and will knock it down!"

The sisters and all the poor screamed and huddled around Marguerite. Marguerite said, "But I'm not ready to be canonized!"

The audience groaned at the bad pun. Some of them whispered to each other, "I don't get it".

The Commander said, "Ready, aim...."

Suddenly, the English soldier said, "Wait!  Sir, these are the nuns who helped me to escape from the French!"

The Commander said, "Stand down, men!" Then to Marguerite he said, "You have our gratitude."

(Exit English commander and English soldier)

Marguerite spent the remainder of her life living with the Grey Nuns she founded and serving the people of Montreal.  She was the first person born in Canada to be canonized a saint.

Saint Marguerite d'Youville-  Pray for us!

St Lucy of Narnia

Lucy Brocadelli, Father, Mother, children (3) Aslan, Mr. Tumnus, the white witch, uncle, suitor, Pietro, Catherine of Sienna, Prior

(Enter Lucy, Father, Mother)

Lucy Brocadelli was born on the feast of St Lucy (Dec 13, 1476) in a place called Narnia, Italy.   Her mother and father doted on her, pinching her cheeks and commenting on how cute she was.  Eventually they had 10 more children!

(Enter children)
(Exit children, mother, father)

Lucy had visions as a young girl.  She saw a man who was half goat and half man.  (Enter Mr. Tumnus)

Mr. Tumnus said "How would it be if you would have tea with me?"

Then the witch came (Enter white witch.) She said "I'll get you my pretty, and your little fawn too!"  Then she turned Mr. Tumnus into a statue.

Then Aslan came (Enter Aslan) He roared so loud the audience shook!  Then he bit the witches face off.

Lucy said "Wait!  This was not the vision I had!  My vision was of Mary and Jesus and Catherine of Sienna!"

The narrator apologized profusely, and ushered the characters from the CS Lewis books off the stage. (Exit Tumnus, Aslan, Witch)

Lucy said "After that amazing vision, which was so unlike the one portrayed here..."  and awkwardly looked at the narrator before continuing... "I will be celibate!"  meaning she made a vow to never get married.

(Enter Father)

Unfortunately her father did not know that, and he suddenly grew ill.

(Enter Uncle)

Lucy's uncle ran to the side of his dying brother and said "What can I do?"

Her father said "Take care of Lucy.  Get her married-  quick!  She's twelve years old!  It's time she had children of her own!"  Then he died.

(exit Father)

(enter children, mother, suitor)

Some time later, the uncle arranged for a gathering of the whole family, including a wealthy suitor.  He said "Good news Lucy!  I found someone to marry you!"

Lucy said "What?  No!  I made a promise to God!"

But the suitor got down on one knee, and tried to put a ring on her finger. So she slapped him. He tried again. She slapped him again. He tried a third time.  She slapped him a third time.

So the suitor fell at the knees of the narrator and said "Please!  Make it stop!"

Then he left.  (Exit suitor).

(Enter Pietro)  But in came Count Pietro Di Allesio of Milan.  He pointed at Lucy and said in an Transylvania accent "One!  One single girl!  Ah ah ah."

The girls in the audience all said "He's so dreamy!"  and began fanning themselves with their hands.

Lucy also looked at the count and felt that she loved him. But she said "Oh, if only I could marry you!  But alas I made a vow of celibacy!"

(Enter Catherine)  Suddenly St Catherine of Sienna appeared to her and said "Seriously?  You gonna turn down a guy like that?  Look, just marry the guy, but get him to agree to honour your vow of celibacy!"  Then she disappeared. (Exit Catherine).

So Lucy and Pietro were married!

At first they had a happy marriage, even though Lucy kept giving his food and wealth away to the poor.  But it was her reapeated visions which bothered the Count.

One day Lucy said "Some nice saints appeared to me today and walked me home!"

Count Pietro said "Again?  Lucy this is getting embarrassing!"  And so he locked her up so she would stop having visions in public.

(Exit Pietro)

But eventually Lucy managed to escape, and ran to a monastery.  There the prior (meaning the guy in charge) allowed Lucy to become a third order Dominican,  something like a nun!

(Enter Pietro)

When Pietro heard about it, he was furious!  He was so mad, he burned down the monastery!

(Exit Prior)

Pietro fell on his knees and begged Lucy to come back and be his wife.  But she said no, so he left sad.

Eventually Lucy would go on to start two convents. She continued to have visions, and would be seen in a state of ecstasy, smiling and staring off like a statue.  She even got the stigmata- the wounds of Christ on her hands!

Lucy of Narnia is thought to be the inspiration behind Lucy Pevensie who visits Narnia in CS Lewis' works.

St Lucy- Pray for us!

St Gianna Molla

Gianna,  3 kids, husband, 'poor and elderly' (2), doctor, baby

(Enter Gianna)

There once was a woman named Gianna.  Gianna had a husband, named Pietro and 3 children (Enter husband and kids).  They loved each other very much!  The children said to their mother "Mommy, you are such a good and kind mommy!"  And they would shower her with kisses.

Not to be outdone, Pietro would romantically take Gianna's hand and say "Come have a date with me my love!"  and kiss her on the hand.

Pietro and Gianna loved music, and they would go to the opera together. They watched as the audience sang in operatic fashion " Figaro, Figaro, Fi-ga-ro!!!"  Then the whole Molla family applauded.

(Enter poor and elderly)  But the Molla family was also generous.  They would visit the poor and elderly, and since Gianna was a doctor, she would give them medical advice.  (Actor should invent her own medical advice).  Gianna said "One day I hope to go on a mission to Brazil with my brother the priest, so I can give those poor women medical advice too!"

(Exit poor and elderly)

One day Gianna gathered her family and said "Children!  I have very exciting news for you!  I am pregnant!"

They children were delighted!  They danced and sang "We're gonna have a baby!"

Pietro gave his wife a big hug, then kneeling down he said to her belly "Hi Baby! I'm your dadda!"

(Enter doctor)

But the doctor said "I'm afraid I have bad news for you.  You have a tumor."

The audience gasped!  Pietro fainted.

One of the children said "Whats a tumor?"

The doctor said "It's a kind of sickness where something is growing inside of your mom that shouldn't be there.  Unless we operate, your mother will die!"

Pietro got up off the floor and said "Well, then operate!"

But the doctor said "It's not that simple.  If we operate, the baby in Gianna's womb will die."

The audience said "Oh dear!"  Pietro fainted again. 

But Gianna said "If you have to choose between my life and that of my baby, choose my baby."

The children said "Oh Mother!"  and hugged her, weeping.  Pietro got up and joined the group hug.

(Enter baby)

When the time came, Gianna had a beautiful baby girl. The baby cried and drooled, but Pietro said as he held her "I love her so much!  She will be named Gianna Emanuela."

The doctor said "Now it is finally safe to operate!" 

But it was too late- Gianna died when her baby was only a week old.

Gianna is the patron saint of Mothers, doctors, and unborn babies.

St Gianna Molla-  Pray for us!

Elisha

Elijah, Elisha, flaming horses, people of Jericho

(Enter Elijah and Elisha)

There once were two Prophets, Elijah and Elisha.  Elijah did really cool things, like once he called down fire from Heaven, and another time he parted the Kordan river so he and Elisha could walk across on dry land.

Elisha said “Golly Elijah!  I wish I was as powerful as you!”

Elijah said “It’s not me, it’s the Holy Spirit working through me! And if you see the way I go to Heaven, you will have the power too!”

Elisha sang the following words to the tune of “if I were a rich man” from Fiddler on the Roof. The narrator modeled how to sing and dance;

“If I were a prophet... dooby dooby dooby dooby dooby dooby dooby do.  All day long I’d dooby dooby do, dooby dooby dooby do!”

(Enter horses)

Suddenly flaming horses came galloping in, whinnying and reading on their hind legs.  The audience sang the tune of Chariots of fire. The kids in the audience all looked at the adults, cause they were the only ones who knew the song.  Then Elijah was taken to Heaven in a whirlwind!  As he flew off, he dropped his coat!

The flaming horses whinnied and galloped away.

(Exit horses, Elijah)

Then Elisha picked up Elijah’s coat, and yelled “I’ve got the power!”

(Enter people of Jericho)

Suddenly the people of Jericho came running up to Elisha and said “Please help us!”

Elisha said “Jericho, Jericho, now where have I heard that before?”

Elisha stroked his beard as he thought, and all the people of Jericho froze like statues. They would remain like statues until the narrator clapped his or her hands.

As Elisha remembered, the audience provided the sound effects.

Elisha remembered how Joshua had said “God has given us this land!”

And how the people of Jericho had answered “We have a big wall, go away”

And how Joshua and the Israelites blew trumpets,

And how the people of Jericho screamed as their walls came down.

The narrator clapped twice. The people of Jericho shook themselves and looked bewildered.

Elisha said-  “wait-  wasn’t your city destroyed a thousand years ago?”

The people of Jericho said “yeah, but we rebuilt it.  In defiance of Gods laws.  But our water is yucky!”

So the people of Jericho took some water and tasted it, but spat it out saying “ooh, bleh, yech!”

Then they said “it makes us sick and kills our crops!

Elisha took the water and put some salt in it, saying “This is what the Lord says:  I have healed the water.  Never again will it cause death or make the land useless!”

So the people tasted the water again and said. “Wow, now this water is delicious!  Thank you Elisha!  You are so kind! You’re our hero!”

Elisha said “You’re welcome! Just remember kids-  stay in school, and don’t make fun of bald people.”

And everyone laughed a hearty laugh.

The end.

St Leo the Great

Pope Sixtus III, Leo, Emperor, Christians (2), Romans (2), Attila the Hun, Huns (3), Geneseric the Vandal, Vandals (3)


(Enter Pope Sixtus III, Leo, Emperor, Christians, Romans).

The fifth century was a tumultuous time. Everyone in Rome huddled together, trembling, and saying  "Oh the tumult, the tumult!"

The Romans said "Ever since our empire became Christian, we've been invaded by wave after wave of barbarians! We should never have stopped worshiping  Mars!"

But Christian number 1 said "It's not our fault the empire is collapsing! We must worship Jesus, because he is the one true God!"

Christian number 2 said "I hate to correct you, dear brother, but Jesus was a man and not God."

Christian number 1 said "That's crazy... he was God!  How could God become man?"

And so the Christians argued amongst themselves, yelling in turn "God!" "Man!" "God!"  "Man!"

Pope Sixtus said "Oh dear, these divisions will tear us apart!  Leo, do you have time to solve this debate?"

Leo said "I may not have the time, but I have the tome!!!"  Leo looked for someone to laugh at his joke, but not a single person got it. The narrator resolved to google it later.

Leo said to the Christians. "You're both right!  Jesus is God, and man!"

The audience though that was pretty trippy, so they said "whoa" as if they were high.

The Christians hugged each other, saying "Hurray for Christian unity!"

Then Pope Sixtus died. The Christians said "Let's make Leo the next Pope!"

(Exit Sixtus, enter Attila and the Huns.)

Attila and the Huns rode their horses all around the Christians, Romans, Emperor and Pope Leo.  The Huns  hooted and hollered, saying "Attack the city of Rome, the greatest city in the world!"

The emperor was a weak man, and he said in a wimpy voice "Oh my! We will be destroyed! The Huns are the most vicious people in all the world!"

One of the Romans said "They are so uncivilized- they never get off their horses!"

Another Roman said "They eat their meat raw!"

Attila said "Correction! We do not eat out meat raw. We place the meat under our bare legs, and it cooks between our legs and the bodies of our horses!"

The huns each took a slab of meat out from under their thighs and started ripping at it with their teeth.  The audience groaned in disgust.

The emperor whimpered "Whatever are we to do?"

Pope Leo said "I got this."  Then he went out and greeted Attila, and said "In the name of Jesus you will leave Rome alone!"

Attila pouted, but said "Oh, ok. C'mon Huns!"

But the Huns whined saying  "But Attila!"

Attila scolded them like an angry parent "I mean it! Let's go, Huns!"

So the Huns all rode off on their horses (Exit Attila and the Huns)

Everyone celebrated the departure of the barbarians!  The Romans said "We thought the fall of Rome was the fault of the Christians! But now we see that you are defenders of Rome! No one will mess with us now!"

(Enter Geneseric and the vandals.)

Geneseric said mockingly "Oh, no?"

Leo said "Who are you, and what do you want?"

Geneseric said "We are the vandals, and we are here to destroy Rome and all it's treasures for no reason!"

The Emperor said "You mean, to vandalize it?"

Geneseric said. "Very astute. The word vandalize comes from the word vandal. Which is what we are."

The audience members whispered to each other "This is so educational!"

Leo said "Gosh, guys, you've come all this way... how bout this... you could loot Rome, steal whatever you want, but don't wreck anything, or steal our wives, and we'll just step aside."

Geneseric said "But, we're vandals. Wrecking stuff is what we do... but you're such a nice guy... oh, ok."

So Geneseric and his vandals stole from the people of Rome, but didn't wreck anything. Then they left.

The Emperor waved saying "Good bye!  Come again soon!"

(Exit vandals)

Everyone said "Wow. Leo, you were great!"

Leo said "Hmmm... Leo the Great. I like the sound of that."

And everyone had a hearty chuckle.

St Leo the Great!

Pray for us!