Daniel

 Daniel, Zedekiah, Zedekiah's kids (2), Jeremiah, Babylonians (3), Nebuchadnezzar, Belshazzar, Persians, (3) Darius, lions (3)

(Enter Zedekiah, Zedekiah's kids and Jeremiah)

There once was a king called Zedekiah.  One day the prophet Jeremiah came to him crying, and said "Oh king!  The Babylonians are going to come and destroy you!

But Zedekiah shrugged and said "I doubt it."

(Enter Babylonians)  

So the Babylonians invaded, and they captured Zedekiah's children, forcing him to watch as they killed his children before his eyes. Then they gouged his eyes out.  Then they took Jeremiah and Zedekiah as hostages.

(Exit Jeremiah, Zedekiah, Zedekiah's kids. Enter Daniel, Nebuchadnezzar)

One of the other hostages they took to Babylon was a guy called Daniel.  Daniel was very wise.  One day, King Nebuchadnezzar said "I had a really weird dream, and unless my wise men can tell me what I dreamt and what it means, I'm going to put them all to death!"

The audience gasped.

But Daniel said "I can tell you!  You dreamt about a big statue, and it represents your empire, the Persians, the Greeks, and... someone else."

The king was flabbergasted!  He said "Daniel, you're so wise!  You are the wisest wise of the wise.  Oh by the way, I was going to burn up three of your friends in my furnace, but they didn't burn, so I let them go!"

Daniel smiled and said "Thank you!"

Nebuchadnezzar said "Don't mention it." Then he went crazy, crawling around on the ground, mooing and eating grass like a cow. Then he got better. Then he died.

(Exit Nebuchadnezzar, Enter Belshazzar.)

After that the king of the Babylonians was Belshazzar. He threw a big party, and all the Babylonians got drunk. Belshazzar said like a game show announcer "Tonights party dishes were brought to you by, the Temple.  If you're going to pillage, pillage the temple."

Suddenly, Belshazzar shrieked in terror. He pointed to a place on the wall. All the other Babylonians shrieked too. Belshazzar described what he saw, saying "There's a flying dismembered hand over there!  It's writing something! What does it say?"

Daniel said "Your majesty, it says that your going to die and your kingdom will be taken from you."

Belshazzar said "Thank you Daniel!  You are the wisest of the wise!"

(Enter the Persians)

Suddenly the Persians ran in and killed all the Babylonians and Belshazzar.

(Exit Babylonians, Belshazzar. Enter Darius)

Darius looked around and said "Good work boys!  I'm in charge now!"

But the Persians said "But your majesty, this man Daniel refuses to stop worshipping God and worship you instead!"

Darius looked annoyed, and said "Well that's dumb. What should we do?"

The Persians said "Feed him to the lions!" 

(Enter the lions)

So the Persians grabbed Daniel and threw him into the lions den.  But instead of eating him, the lions just meowed like cats, and licked his face.

Darius said "Obviously Daniel's God is legit. Get him out of there!" 

Daniel came out of the lions den, and gave Darius a big hug.

Then Darius threw the Persians into the lions den, and the lions ate them.  

(Exit Lions, Persians)

Darius said "Daniel, you are the wisest of the wise."

Daniel said "Thanks, king!  I'm so glad I can be one of your magi!  By the way, did you know that in about 490 years the Jewish Messiah will come and rule forever?"

Darius said "Sounds like a plan!  I look forward to it!"

Then the whole cast came back on stage and did Fortnite dances.

The end.

David

Philistines (3), Israelites (3), Saul, Goliath, David, singing women, Nathan

(Enter the Philistines and the Israelites) 

The Philistines and the Israelites were at war. The two armies faced each other, ready to do battle.  The Philistines gave their war cry.  The Israelites gave their war cry.

Then the insults started.

The Philistines said "Our god is bigger than your God!"

The audience said "oooh."

The Israelites said "Oh yeah? Our God created the universe!"

The Philistines said "So why are you scared to fight us? Scared of Dagon?"

Dagon was the name of their god. He was a mermaid with a beard.

The Israelites said "The only person scared of your Dagon is Sebastien the crab!"

The audience jumped to their feet, yelling "Oh burn."

Once they settled down, the Philistines said "Tell you what. Instead of us all killing each other, how bout if we each send out our biggest guy, and they'll fight, and whoever wins, wins the whole war!"

(Enter Saul)

The Israelites looked to their king, Saul.  Saul was a pretty big guy. He flexed his arms, and kissed his muscles. He said, "Let's do this!" Then he aura farmed.

The Philistines all laughed, and then called, "Oh, Goliath!"

(Enter Goliath)

Goliath was huge!  He was 9 feet tall. The earth shook as he walked. He called in a deep voice, "Who will fight me?"

Saul peed his pants. He looked at the Israelites and said, "So? Who's gonna fight him? Whoever does can marry my daughter!"

(Enter David)

David was just a little guy, too young and too small for the army. But he said, "I'll fight him!"

Saul said, "You've got to be kidding."

But David said, "God will fight for us!"

So David approached Goliath and said, "This day God will help me defeat you!"

Goliath said, "Oh, yeah?" and swung his sword. But David put a rock in a sling, swung it around, and released. Goliath was struck in the head, and he fell flat on his face.

David grabbed Goliath's sword, chopped Goliath's head off, and held it up, while doing his own war cry.  All the Israelites cheered! The audience cheered! The Philistines whimpered.

(Exit Philistines, Goliath, enter singing women)

 When the warriors came back to the city, the singing women sang, "Saul is a mighty warrior, but David is better still."

When David flexed his muscles, the singing women all giggled and squeezed them saying, "You're so manly!"

Saul shook his fist angrily, saying, "What about me! I'm the one farming aura!"

Then Saul died.

(Exit Saul)

David became king. The women and israelites and the audience all cheered. He was the greatest king Israel ever had. 

(Enter Nathan)

One day a prophet named Nathan approached David and said, "David, God has blessed you. One of your descendants will be king forever!"

That descendant of David was Jesus, and he is called the Messiah. David and Nathan cheered at that announcement, and got high fives from the audience, even though it kinda broke the fourth wall. 

King David-  Pray for us!

Noah

God,  Noah, Joan, Shem, Ham, Japeth, Shem's wife, Ham's wife, Japeth's wife, evildoers

(Enter evildoers)

Once upon a time, the earth was full of evildoers.  One of the evildoers said "I prefer to think of myself as a ne'erdowell." 

The evildoers spent their days doing evil and plotting mischief.  

(Enter God)

One day God walked in, and said "I've had it up to here with you guys!  I'm going to flood the whole earth and start over!"

But the evildoers just laughed, and walked away, plotting their dastardly deeds.

(Exit evildoers, Enter Noah)

So God went to Noah and said "Because you are righteous..."

Noah spoke like a 1980's surfer and said "Righteous".

God continued "I want you to build an ark."

Noah said "An ark?  Like a treasure chest?"

God said "Yes, but a really big one. Big enough to hold two of every animal!  And make it water tight, so it'll float."

Noah said "Why not just call it a boat?"

God said "Because, it's to hold treasure!  You're the treasure!  The animals are the treasure..."

Noah said "Okeydokey". God left.

(Exit God, enter Joan, Shem, Ham, Japeth, wives)

So Noah told his family "God is going to flood the earth, but he wants to save us. So we're going to build a giant boat."

From offstage God yelled "Ark!"

Noah turned to his wife Joan and said "From now on you will be known as Joan of Ark."

Joan said sarcastically "Ha ha, very funny!"

Ham turned to his wife and said "And you will be known as Swiss."

Ham's wife said "I don't get it."

Ham said "You've never heard of ham and swiss?"

From offstage God said "I wonder if I can find a different righteous family to work with."

But Noah and his family got to work, building the giant boat, er, ark.

(Enter evildoers)

The evildoers scoffed at them, saying "Are you crazy?  We're in the desert!  Why do you need a boat?"

Noah said "It's an ark, actually"

(Exit evildoers)

When the ark was finished, Noah put two of every animal on his ark. 

(Poll the audience- what kind of animals should we have? If a kid picks an animal, invite them to be that animal on the ark)

Then the rains came. It rained for 40 days and nights. The ark rose and fell on the waves, with all the people and animals going up and down and losing their balance. Some even got sea sick!  All the animals started acting crazy, so Noah yelled "Quiet!"  

The animals looked a little sheepish. Except the sheep. They looked roughly the same.

Finally after 150 days, the ark came to rest on top of mount ararat. Everyone came off the ark and kissed dry ground. Then Ham's wife pointed to the sky and said "Look at all the colours!"

They all looked at the beautiful rainbow. God said "That is my sign that I will always be faithful to you."

Passover

 Pharaoh, Moses, Slaves (6) , Soldiers (2), Hotep, Hoy,  death

Egypt was once the most powerful nation in all the world.  The man in charge was named Pharaoh.

(Enter Pharaoh)

Pharaoh swaggered around, flexing his muscles, saying “I am the most powerful man in the world!  I have the most powerful kingdom in the world!  And I have the biggest sphynx! Hebrew slaves!  Build me a pyramid!”

(Enter slaves)

The slaves said, “But we don’t want to!”

Pharaoh said “Guards!!!”

(Enter guards)

The guards came in, cracking their whips, and their knuckles.

The slaves said “Yessir, right away sir!”  and they immediately made a human pyramid.

(Enter Moses)

Moses said “Hello, Pharaoh”

Pharaoh said “Oh look, my long lost brother!  Well, not really my brother, since you turned out to be a Hebrew Slave, but you were raised in the palace…”

Moses said “You know the word Hebrew just means slave right? So saying Hebrew slave is redundant.”

Pharaoh said “You can say that again!”

The narrator paused to give the audience time to get the joke.

Then Moses said “The God of the Hebrews came to me, and he orders you to let his people go.”

Pharaoh laughed. The soldiers laughed. The audience laughed.

Finally Pharaoh wiped away a tear, and said ;

“God who? Who wants me to completely destroy my economy?”

Moses said “His name is “I am who I am.””

Pharaoh said “Oh. Uh, call in the priests”

(Enter Hotep, Hoy)

Pharaoh said “Do we have any gods powerful enough to take on “I am who I am?””

Hotep said “Certainly!  We have gods of the Nile, frog gods, weather gods, livestock gods”

But for every so-called god of the Egyptians, God sent a plague.  (Plague sound effects provided by the audience.)  The Nile turned to blood, there was a plague of frogs, it hailed fire, all the livestock died…

Hoy said “Don’t forget Ra!  He’s the most powerful god in the world- the sun god!”

But then there was a plague of darkness. All the Egyptians groped around saying “who turned out the lights?”  But the Hebrews could see, as they were still in the light!

Moses clapped his hands twice, and the lights came back on. Pharaoh said- “Wow, you should patent that!”

Then Moses said “Pharaoh, you’ve seen the power of my God.  My God is the true God, and more powerful than any of your imaginary gods!  You need to repent, and let my people go!”

But Pharaoh got mad and said “Well, he’s not more powerful than me!  I have the power over life and death!”  Then he pointed an angry finger in Moses face and said “Don’t mess with me. I have one more god- Anubis, the god of Death…”  Then he laughed maniacally.

Then he and the other Egyptians stormed out.

(exit soldiers, priests, Pharaoh)

The Hebrews said “Moses, what have you done?  He’ll kill us all!”

But Moses said “Death will come, but not for us.  God will save us, and death will Passover us.”

So at Moses’ instructions, the Hebrews ate a meal of unleavened bread, wine, and lambs meat. And they painted the lambs’ blood on their doors.

(Enter Egyptians)

That night everybody went to sleep, snoring quietly.

(Enter Death)

But while they slept, death came.  Death went to the houses of the Egyptians, tiptoeing around and in every home they lost their first son.  But when Death came to the house of the Hebrews, he saw the Lambs blood, and he passed over them.

The next morning when they woke up, all the Egyptians were crying and hugging each other.

Moses went to Pharaoh, and said “I’m very sorry about your loss… but about our freedom…”

Pharaoh said “You and your people may go.”

All the Hebrews gave each other high fives, and started walking away, as the Egyptians hung their heads in sadness. 

(exit Egyptians.)

The Hebrews came to the Red Sea, and said “It’s beautiful!”

But one Hebrew said “I thought he said it would be red…”

(Enter Pharaoh)

Suddenly Pharaoh said “It will be.”

The audience gasped!

(enter soldiers)

Pharaoh said “Kill them!”

The soldiers started moving towards the Hebrews in super slow motion.

The Hebrews cried out “How will we escape?”

Moses put his staff in the water, and the sea parted. The Hebrews ran across to safety. Then the sea rushed back, as Pharaoh and his army sang the Little Mermaids “Under the Sea.”

The Hebrews celebrated their freedom.

St Corona

Corona, Victor, Marcus Aurelius, other soldiers (3), palm trees (2)

(Enter Marcus Aurelius, Victor, Soldiers)

There once was a roman Emperor named Marcus Aurelius.  His soldiers saluted him, while he said "Good people of Rome!  I am your emperor, Marcus Aurelius".

The soldiers said "Oh, Really?"

Marcus said "No... Aurelius."

Then he said "I am a good emperor, and I think this Pax Romana is really great.  But you know, I'm also a stoic philosopher, dedicated to virtue and to actions governed by logic.  So-  let's kill all the Christians!"

One soldier said "Wow, that sounds kind of violent for a stoic..."

Victor said  "But sir, I am a Christian!"

Aurelius said "Oh good!  We'll start with you!  Men, Gouge out his eyes!"

So the soldiers poked Victors eyes out.  Victor said "Ouch!  Ouchy ouchy ouch!  That really hurts!"

(Enter Corona)

Corona ran to him and "Be strong, Victor!  Jesus is with you!"

Aurelius said "Who are you?"

Corona said "I'm Corona."

A soldier sang "My Corona" to the tune of "My Sharona".

Aurelius looked at the camera and said "I hope this doesn't go viral!"

Victor said "I thought your name was Stephanie".

Corona said "It's Stephanie in Greek, and Corona in Latin.  It means crown!"

The audience nodded their heads and said "Oh!" grateful to acquire such valuable information.

Aurelius said "Greek, Latin.... Where are you from, young lady?"

Corona said "Oh, you know... Syria, Sicily, Marseilles..."

Aurelius said "And, are you married to Victor?"

The other soldier said "Actually, she's married to me..."

Aurelius said "Awkward..."  Then he said "Still, we have to kill the Christians.  Start with Victor-  chop off his head!"

Corona said "Please-  That's no way to get ahead in this world!"

But the soldier chopped off Victors head.  Corona cried, but said "Go with Jesus!"

Aurelius said "So, you're a christian too eh?  Well, how shall we martyr you?  Whatever we do, it ought to be legendary!"

So Aurelius and the soldier bent two palm trees with ropes. They tied Corona to the two trees, then released the trees.  As the trees snapped back, Corona was ripped apart.

St Corona-  Pray for us! 

Samson

Manoah, wife, angel, Samson, Lion, foxes (2) Philistines (4)  Israelite (2), Delilah

(Enter Manoah, Wife)

There once was a man named Manoah.  One day his wife came to him, grabbed him by the shirt, and said "I wanna have a baby!"

But Manoah shook her off and said "Listen woman. You're never gonna have a baby.  You're barren!"

So his wife started to cry.

(Enter Angel)

Suddenly an angel appeared to her and said "You're gonna have a baby!  But he has to be dedicated to God.  He can never drink alcohol, and never cut his hair."

She said "What kind of baby drinks alcohol?"

The angel said "I mean for his whole life!"

Then the angel disappeared. 

(Exit angel)

Manoah said "Wow, we just saw God! Now we're gonna die!"

His wife said "I think if God meant to kill us, we'd be dead already.  Oh my, I'm having a baby"

(Enter Samson)

Suddenly, Samson was born!  He said "Thank you mother, for birthing me."

Samson grew up to be super buff, with long flowing hair. He flexed his massive muscles.  All the girls in the audience said "He's so dreamy!"

Manoah said "He gets it from his dad."

His wife said "Oh please, he gets it from God!"

(Exit Manoah, wife. Enter Lion)

One day, Samson was attacked by a lion.  But Samson tore the lion apart, limb by limb, leaving its corpse on the ground.

Some time later he noticed a beehive in the corpse of the lion. He tasted the honey and said "Delicious!"

(Exit Lion, enter foxes)

Now in that area, there were Philistines who lorded it over the Israelites.  They weren't very nice. So to get revenge, Samson tied two foxes together, and tied a torch between them, and set them free in a Philistine wheat field. The foxes ran around, saying what foxes say, burning all the crops.  Then Samson ran away and hid in a cave.

(Exit foxes, Enter Philistines, Israelites)

The Philistines looked around at their burned out fields, shaking their fists and saying "Who did this?"  They looked accusingly at the Israelites. 

The Israelites said "We didn't do it!"

The shortest philistine said "I bet it was your boy Samson".

The tallest philistine said "bring us Samson, tied up!"

The oldest philistine said "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!"

The best looking philistine said "Now go!"

So the Israelites went and found Samson, and tied him up, and brought him to the Philistines. 

The strongest philistine said "So Samson, what do you have to say for yourself now?"

Samson said "You better stand back".  Then flexing his massive muscles, he burst the ropes that bound him, picked up the jawbone of a donkey, and killed all the philistines.

(exit philistines)

The Israelites cheered!  They said "Yay Samson!  You are so strong!"

The girls in the audience said "And dreamy!"

(Enter Delilah)

Delilah said "I'll say!"

The audience said "Who are you?"

Delilah said "I'm Delilah, the prettiest girl around!".  Then she flipped her hair, batted her eyes, and took a selfie.

The boys in the audience said "Vavavoom!"

Delilah walked up to Samson, and traced her finger along the lines of his pecks and his washboard abs. Samson said "hubba hubba!"

The Israelites discreetly left the stage.

(exit Israelites)

Delilah said "Now, you big hunk of a man. Why don't you tell little old Delilah the secret of your strength?"

Samson said "Duhhh-  it's my hair.  My hair is a symbol of my dedication to God.  If I ever cut it my strength would leave me!"

That night while Samson slept, Delilah cut his hair, and tied him up. Then she yelled "Samson, your enemies are upon you!"

Samson jumped up, and flexed his muscles to break the ropes... but they wouldn't break!

He looked at Delilah and said "How could you?"

Delilah said "Didn't I tell you sweetheart?  I'm a philistine!" 

(Enter the philistines)

In ran the philistines!  These were not the same philistines that Samson had killed earlier. They just looked very similar.  

The smartest philistine said "Now we've got you!"

The philistines grabbed Samson, poked his eyes out, and tied him to a stone in a mill, where he was made to walk in circles all day, grinding wheat into flour. 

One day, the philistines said "Let's throw a party, in honour of our god, Dagon!"

Now Dagon was a statue of a merman with a big black beard. So the Philistines honoured it by singing "Under da sea" from the little Mermaid.

Then the evilest of the philistines said "Let's get Samson and make fun of him!"

So they tied Samson between two pillars, and the audience all made fun of him, saying things like "Who's strong now? " and "Nice haircut, buzz!"

Delilah whispered in Samsons' ear "I still think you're a gorgeous hunk."

Samson said "Dear God, sorry I screwed up!  My hair is growing back.  Can I have my strength back now?"

Samson felt his strength return, so he flexed his muscles, pulling the pillars in wards. The audience screamed as the ceiling fell on them, and everyone died.

Esther

Esther, Mordecai, Haman (Hey-Man), Xerxes, Vashti, Jews (5), Persians (5)  Beautiful girls (3) herald

(Enter Xerxes, Persians, Haman, Vashti)

There once was a very powerful king named Xerxes.  Xerxes was the king of all the Persians.  The Persians asked the king in unison "Oh, mighty king!  Persia is the most powerful country in all the world!  How did you come to rule it?"

"I ran". The king said. All the Persians laughed. But Vashti, Xerxes' wife, did not laugh.  She just shook her head disdainfully.

Xerxes looked at his wife and said "Laugh, woman!"

But Vashti said "No.  Your joke isn't funny.  You didn't run to be King... you inherited the throne. And Persia won't be called Iran until 1935... which is like 2400 years from now!  Even if your joke were funny, no one would get it!  These people only laughed to flatter your enormous ego!"

Xerxes went into a rage, and he said "Woman, I hereby banish you from my presence, and not only from my presence, but from my entire empire, the largest in the history of the world!"

The crowd gasped. Vashti ran away crying.

(Exit Vashti)

Then Xerxes pointed to one of his servants, the one named Haman, and said "You-  what's your name?"

Haman said "Haman."

Xerxes said "Hey. What's your name?"

Haman said "Haman."

King Xerxes said "Hey, man. Now answer me- what's your name?"

Haman said "My name is Haman."

King Xerxes said "I know. I was making a joke."

The Persians all laughed.  But Vashti yelled from off stage "Not funny!"

Xerxes said "Haman, I need a new wife, because that last one was disobedient."

Haman said "I happen to have a list of all the most beautiful women in the kingdom..."

Xerxes said "Why would you have a list like that?  Never mind. Well, bring them to me!"

(Enter beautiful girls and Esther)

Haman said "your majesty, check out these babes".  The girls giggled, while Esther just waved  Then Haman chose one of the giggling girls, and said "I personally think this one is smoking hot!"

But Xerxes was overcome by the sheer beauty of Esther.  He got down on one knee, took Esthers hand in his own, and said "Young lady!  You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen!  Will you marry me?"

Before she could answer, Haman said "Remember, Esther, if you say no you'll be banished."

So Esther said "Yes, your majesty!  I would love to be your wife!"

Xerxes said "Excellent!  Now go do wifely things- cook something or make a quilt.  I'll call you when I want you!"

(Exit all but Esther.  Enter Mordecai)

Esther said "Mordecai, did you see what happened? I had to marry the king! I don't know how to be a queen!"

But Mordecai said "Esther, who knows?  Maybe God called you to be queen for some reason we don't yet know!"

(Exit Esther, Enter Jews, Persians, Haman)

Haman liked to parade around town, showing off how rich he was and what great outfits he wore.  He'd announce himself saying "Here I come!  I'm Haman, friend of the King!  Everybody bow, show me respect!"

All the Jews and Persians bowed when Haman came by, but Mordecai would not.  Haman went to Mordecai and said "Bow your head, Jew!"

But Mordecai just stood his ground, staring Haman in they eye. Haman pointed at Mordecai and said "Listen, Jew, I'm gonna get my revenge on you."  Then Haman laughed like a madman.

(Exit Haman, enter herald)

Sometime later  a herald walked out and said in a British accent "Here ye, Here ye.  2 weeks from this date it will be lawful for any Persian to murder any Jew, and steal the property of the Jew they killed.  Sincerely, Haman, friend of the king."

The Persians cheered!  The Jews cried.  Mordecai said "Wait, they can't do that!"

The herald said "I'm afraid they can!  It is sealed by the king, and so is irrevocable! In other news, Haman has built a gallows 23 meters tall from which he will hang you.  Sorry for your luck!"

Mordecai said "We'll see about that!"

 (Exit all but Mordecai.  Enter Esther)

Mordecai ran to Esther, fell on his knees, and said "Please!  Esther!  Do something!  Haman has made it so that we will all be killed!"

Esther said "But what can I do?"

Mordecai said "You're the queen!  Tell the king what happened, and he'll protect us!"

Esther said "But the king hasn't called me!  If I go to him without being called, he could kill me!"

Mordecai put his hands on Esther's shoulders, looked her deep in the eyes, and put his face uncomfortably close to hers.

Mordecai said "Esther, what if God has given you this role for such a time as this?"

(Exit Mordecai, enter Xerxes and Haman)

Xerxes sat on his royal throne, with Haman standing very pleased beside him.  Esther entered the throne room, trembling, and approached the king.

Haman said "Your majesty, the queen approaches without being summoned!  The law says she should die!  What will you do?"

But Xerxes extended his arm to her, and said "Come to me, my snookums"

Relieved, Esther approached the king.

Xerxes said "Would you like to sit on my royal lap?"

Esther said "Your highness, I come with terrible news!  One of your advisors has tricked you, and has ordered that I and all my family should be put to death!"

Xerxes stood up and roared "What?  Who could do such a thing!"

Esther pointed at Haman, and said "He did it.  He ordered that the Jews should be killed, and I am Jewish."

Haman looked terrified.  He said "I didn't know you were Jewish!"  Then he threw himself at Esther's feet, and said "Please!  I had no idea! Have mercy!"

Then Xerxes bellowed "Are you attacking my wife right in front of me?  Guards!  Guards!"

(Enter Persians)

The Persians ran in and grabbed Haman.  Xerxes said "Kill this man, and give all his property to my wife, Esther!"  So the Persians took Haman, and hung him from his own 23 meter gallows.

The king sat back in his throne exhausted, and said "Esther, I will allow you to write a new law so that no one hurts you or your people.  I'm so sorry for this."

But Esther said "You were wonderful!  Please, may I crawl onto your royal lap now?"

And she did.