St Barbara

Barbara, dad, Shepherd 1, Shepherd 2, 3 sheep, Martinianus

Barbara was the most beautiful woman any one had ever seen.  Her Dad was so enamored by her beauty that he said “ Barbara, will you marry me?”

Barbara said “Ew!  No!  You’re my dad!”

So her dad took her by the hair, and dragged her to the top of a high tower, where he locked her in.  Yelling through the door, he said “If you won’t marry me, you won’t marry anyone! “  Then he laughed an evil and diabolical laugh.

But Barbara prayed, and suddenly the walls of the tower opened up, and she was miraculously brought to a nearby gorge, where 2 shepherds who were looking after their sheep, hid her.

When he dad came looking for her, he demanded of the shepherds “Have you seen my daughter Barbara?”

The first shepherd said “No, I have not seen her.”

But the second shepherd said “Yes-  she’s over there in that gorge!”  After saying this, he was turned to stone!  And his sheep were turned into grasshoppers!

Barbara’s father grabbed her and said “Now I will take you to Martinianus, who will put you to death for being a Christian!”

Martinianus giggled like a school girl when he saw the prisoner, and tortured her cruelly.  Each night she would be placed in a cell, where her wounds would be miraculously healed.

Finally Martinianus said “You are to be beheaded!”

Barbara’s Father took a sword, and chopped off her head!  Then he began once more to laugh maniacally!  Then he was suddenly struck by lightning.

St Barbara’s feast is Dec 4^th, and is celebrated in Arab countries with traditions like Halloween!

 

St Barbara-  Pray for us!

St Kassiani

St Kassiani

Characters:  Theophilus (Thee-awe-fill-us), Subjects (2), Euphrosyne (U-fro-seen), Eligible women, Kassiani, nuns

(Enter Theophilus, Subjects)

There once was great Byzantine Emperor, named Theophilus. 

The audience said "Seriously?  That's Theophilus name I've ever heard!"  Then they all gave each other high fives for thinking of the exact same joke at the exact same time.

Theophilus walked around as regally as he could, patting his subjects on the head, and giving orders for noble things to be done.  But Theophilus was lonely, and would often sit alone and wish that he had someone to love.

(Enter Euphrosyne, eligible women, Kassiani)

So his stepmother, Euphrosyne, made a declaration that all the eligible young women should come and present themselves to the emperor in a bride show. All the eligible women, including Kassiani, made themselves as pretty as possible to impress Theophilus.  They giggles and posed in the most beautiful ways. 

Theophilus walked up and down the line of beautiful women, trying to decide which one to give a golden apple to, which would make her his wife.  He stopped at Kassiani, saying "Va-va-voom!". 

Kassiani giggled. 

Then he said "It is because of women that all the bad things have come into the world."  By this he was referring to the sin of Eve.

But Kassiani was intelligent, and she answered "It is because of a woman that all of the good things have come into the world." By this she meant Mary.

All the other eligible girls said "Oooh", as if Kassiani was trying to pick a fight.

Theophilus was impressed by her intelligence,  but embarrassed because she was more intelligent than he was. So he gave the apple to one of the other girls, and they went off and got married.

(Theophilus, eligible girls, subjects and Euphrosyne leave the stage, enter nuns)

Kassiani was sad, because she actually did love Theophilus.   But she believed that God wanted her to become a nun, so she went and started a convent.  She gathered other nuns around her, and led them in singing praise songs to God.

Kassiani loved writing hymns for the Church, and would spend her time signing to herself in the convent.

(Enter Theophilus)

One day while writing a hymn, she saw that Theophilus was coming! He was riding on a horse, and looking very gallant.

"Oh no!"  Kassiani said, melodramatically.  "I am a nun, but I still love him!  If I speak with him I will want to leave with him!  I must hide!" And so she went and hid in the closet.

When Theophilus entered the room, he found it empty.  He began to cry.  "Oh, Kassiani!  You were the most beautiful of all the women, and the most intelligent!  Would that I had chosen you instead of being hurt by my pride!" 

Then he noticed the Hymn that Kassiani had been writing, sitting on a table.  He took a pen, and finished writing the song, saying "I knew that we would write beautiful music together!"

As he set down the pen, he saw Kassiani watching him from inside the closet.  Kassiani gasped. But Theophilus just left the room.

St Kassiani-  Pray for us!

St Albert the Great

St Albert

Albert, Roger Bacon, People (1) (2) (3), Mary, young men, Tomas Aquinas, Etienne Tempier

Back in the middle ages, there was a guy named Albert.  He was so smart, that even back in his day, people used to call him “Albert the Great”.  One of his buddies was a man named Roger Bacon.  Bacon was also very smart, and people called him “the wonderful teacher.”   Together, Albert the Great and Roger Bacon would conduct scientific experiments, long before most people even knew what science was! 

 (Scene Change!  Everyone but Albert leave)

One day while studying something, the Blessed Virgin Mary appeared to him.  Mary said “Albert, that’s great that you want to be a scientist and a teacher, but you should really become a priest.”  Albert said “yeah, Ok!”  Then Mary disappeared.

(Young men and Thomas Aquinas enter)

Now known as Father Albert, he continued teaching university classes.  Several young men, including Tomas Aquinas, were his students.  Tomas Aquinas was a big fat guy that always had a stupid look on his face.  Because of that, the other students would call “the dumb ox”.  But it turned out that Thomas was one of the smartest guys in history!

When Thomas died, Albert was really sad.  

(Scene Change- Exit Thomas, enter Etienne Tempier and people)

A few years later, the Bishop of Paris, a guy named  Etienne Tempier, called a gathering, and said in his snooty Parisian accent “Science is very dangerous!  If you believe in the laws of physics and logic, you are putting a limit on God!  Some of the things Aquinas said are wrong, and nobody should believe them!  If you teach the stuff he taught, you should be kicked out of the Church!”

But Albert said “The stuff Thomas taught is what the Church teaches!  So stop being so silly!”

Other people accused Albert of being a wizard.  One person said “I heard Albert was doing experiments with things!  He must be doing magic!”  Another person said  “I heard that he found the philosophers stone, which turns other metals into gold! And he gave it to Thomas Aquinas!”  a third person said “He turned me into a newt!” And when everyone looked at him added “I got better.”

But one of Albert’s students said “He is doing science, and he has in doctorate in pretty much everything.   Science is a good thing… you should try it!”

So Albert kept doing his work.  He wrote books on logic, theology, botany, geography, astronomy, astrology, mineralogy, chemistry, zoology, physiology, phrenology… 38 volumes in all! Eventually everyone recognized that both he and Thomas Aquinas were geniuses.

St Albert the Great is a Doctor of the Church, and the Patron Saint of Scientists.

St Albert-  Pray for us!