Catherine Doherty

Catherine Doherty

Fyodor (M), Emma, Catherine, priest, noble kids 3, commoners (3), Baron Boris de Hueck, poor (3),Eddie Doherty, soldiers

(Enter Fyodor and Emma)

There once was a couple named Fyodor and Emma, who were riding a train in Russia. Emma was crying in labour pain, and gave birth to Catherine right on the train!  

(Enter Catherine)

Catherine sucked her thumb as her mom and dad cuddled her.  Emma said “She could get a disease on this train-  we’d better baptize her right away!”

(Enter priest)

So when they got to St Petersburg, they found a priest.  The priest said “And what name do you give this child?”

Fyodor said “Ekaterina Fyodorovna Kolyschkine”.

But Emma said “Catherine for short.”

(Exit Fyodor, Emma, priest, enter noble kids, commoners)

Catherine was nobility, and went to school with a bunch of other noble kids. Catherine and the other nobles were very snooty, walking around with their noses in the air, and looking down at the commoners.  

(Exit noble kids and commoners, enter Baron Boris de Hueck)

When Catherine was only 15 years old, she married Baron Boris de Hueck. Boris was Catherine’s cousin. The audience said “Ewwww!”  

Boris got angry and said “In Mother Russia, a Baron marries whom he chooses!”

(Exit Baron, enter soldiers)

During World War 1, Catherine served as a nurse. Soldiers yelled “For Mother Russia!”  and charged at their enemies.  But many of them were shot. Catherine would tend to them.

(Exit soldiers, enter commoners)

When the war was ended, revolution broke out. 

 The commoners ran around saying “Kill the snooty nobility!” Catherine and Boris screamed and ran away to Finland. Eventually they made it all the way to Toronto.

(Exit the commoners, enter priest)

Boris and Catherine fought a lot. Finally Catherine went to the priest and said “Please, can we get an annulment?”  (Annulment means your marriage does not count in the eyes of the Church.)

The priest said “Well, you did marry your cousin, which is forbidden by the Church… so ok!”

(Exit priest, Boris, enter poor, Eddie)

After that Catherine sold everything she had, and lived with the poor, and opened a soup kitchen called “Friendship House” for them.  The poor were very grateful. 

One day a reporter named Eddie showed up and started asking Catherine questions about what she was doing.  Catherine and Eddie were instantly in love, and they stared dreamily into each other’s eyes. Eddie fell onto one knee and said “Will you marry me?” 

Catherine said “You’re not my cousin, are you?”

Eddie said “No.”

So Catherine got excited and said “Yes, yes, of course yes!” and plastered his face with kisses.

But many of the poor at Friendship House shook their heads, saying “Tsk, tsk.  This new marriage is inappropriate.” So Catherine and Eddie moved to Combermere Ontario, where they founded a community to care for the poor there. Catherine and Eddie lived there for 38 years, serving the poor, until she died.

Catherine is not yet Canonized a Saint, but her cause is before the Church.

Servant of God Catherine Doherty-  Pray for us!

Rose of Lima

Rose of Lima

Gaspar, Maria, Rose, Servant, suitor, poor (3), sick (2), people (3)

(Enter Gaspar, Maria)

There once was a man named Gaspar, who was a soldier that rode his horse in Peru.  He was married to a local woman named Maria. They held hands, and were very much in love.

(Enter Rose, Sevant)

Together they had a beautiful baby girl, whom they called Rose. They named her Rose because one day a servant was holding Rose, and saying “Look at you, you’re so cute, yes you are, yes you are.”  When suddenly the servant screamed and said “It’s a miracle!  While I was looking at the baby her face transformed into a rose!”

Her dad said “Freaky! Please don’t hold my child anymore.”

But her mom said “Rose-  what a beautiful name!”

(Exit servant)

Rose grew to be a very beautiful lady. Whenever she walked by, all the boys in the audience would whistle their admiration.  Maria would put flowers in Rose’s hair to make her even more beautiful.  But Rose said “I don’t want to be so admired by everyone!  Please mom, no flowers.”

Maria said “Nonsense.  Obey your mom.”

So Rose would secretly put pins through the flowers so that instead of being proud of her beauty she would be distracted by her pain.

(Enter Suitor)

Because she was so pretty, men wanted to marry her.  One day a suitor came, and took her by the hand, went down on one knee, and said “Rose, my sweet, sweet rose.  You are so lovely.  Your eyes are like doves.  Your hair is like a flock of goats.  Your teeth are like naked pregnant sheep.  Your lips are lovely, and how I long for their kisses!  Rose… will you marry me?”

But Rose said “Alas, I cannot.  For my heart belongs to another. I have given my heart to God.”

The suitor wept bitterly, saying “But I already used all my best lines on you!  I’ll have to compare the skin of the next girl to the stretched hide of an orangutan…”  And he walked away, dejected.

(Exit suitor)

Rose said “I hate breaking men’s hearts on account of my extraordinary beauty!”  So to make herself less beautiful, she cut off her hair, and smashed pepper into her face.

She said to her dad “Father, I want to become a nun!”

But Gaspar grew angry and said “I forbid it!”

(Enter the poor)

So Rose lived in a room in her father’s house, and dressed like a nun.  She took care of the garden, and made lace, which she sold and gave the money she made to the poor.  Besides that, she lived alone in the room, and only left to go to Church.

(Exit mother and father and poor. Enter sick)

When disease broke out, she went to the hospital to help look after the sick.  One day she walked into the room of a sick woman.  The woman was covered by sores, and was oozing puss, and smelled terrible.  Rose gagged at the smell, and said “I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.”

But the woman noticed, and was sad.  So to punish herself, Rose took care of the woman, dressing her wounds, and she gathered the woman’s puss in a cup, and drank it.

(Exit the sick, enter people)

Rose would often go into ecstasy in prayers.  She would stand with her hands in the air, looking heavenward, and with an extremely happy face.  She had such extreme joy that nobody could distract her.  People would try all kinds of silly things to distract her, making faces, sound effects, tickling her-  but Rose would just keep staring into heaven with a beautiful look of peace and joy on her face.  

(Exit people)

One day Rose said “I’m going to die now!”  And she did.

St Rose of Lima-  Pray for us!

Pope Saint John XXIII

John XXIII  (Pope John the 23^rd)

Mom, Dad, John (Angelo), Brothers and sisters (4), Landowner, soldier, injured person,  Pope Pius XI (11th), Nazis (2), Jews (3), Nazi Bishop, Cardinals (3), Bishops (2), John F Kennedy, Khruschev

(Enter Angelo, mom, dad, brothers and sisters)

There once was young boy named Angelo.  Angelo lived with his Mom and Dad and his 13 brothers and sisters in a small farm house.  They loved each other very much, and the Dad would always say “Group Hug!”  And all of the family would hug each other.  They were poor, and worked on a farm.  As they worked they would sing “Old Linguini had a farm” to the tune of “Old MacDonald.” 

(Enter landowner)

But they did not own the land they worked on, so when the landowner came around he would say in his italian accent “Hey-a, you-a farmers-a.  Give-a me summa your croppa”

And of course, the dad would have to pay.

(Exit Landowner)

When he grew up, Angelo said good bye to each of his family members in the traditional Italian style, by kissing them on each cheek and saying “Ciao!”  Then Angelo left his home and became a priest.

(Exit mom, dad, brothers and sisters.  Enter soldier, injured person.)

When world war I broke out, a soldier came and ordered Angelo to join the army.  Fr Angelo was a chaplain, and he would help the other soldiers carry the injured people to safety.

(Exit soldier, injured, enter Pope Pius XI)  

One day Pope Pius XI  called him and said “You are a bishop!”  The crowd cheered!

Then Pope Pius XI died.

(Exit Pope, enter mom)
 Around the same time, Angelo’s mom died.  He was very sad.

(exit mom, enter Nazis, jews)

During world war II, evil Nazis invaded and started arresting all the Jews.  Angelo went to the Nazis and set “Let them go.”  And the Nazis actually listened!  So Angelo helped the Jews escape, saying “Run away, run away!”

(Exit Jews, enter Nazi Bishop)

After World War II ended, the Nazis cried because they lost.  Angelo had to work with some Bishops who had sided with the Nazis when they had control of France.  Angelo shook his finger at the Bishop, and said “Naughty, Naughty.” 

The Bishop said “I know.  I’m sorry.”

Angelo said “I’m sorry too, for all the times that Catholics were mean to Jews.

(Exit Nazis, Nazi Bishop, enter Cardinals)

When the Pope died, all the Cardinals, which by then included Angelo, got together to choose a new pope.  The Cardinals said “Let’s pick someone old who can run things for a few years without changing anything.”  So they picked Angelo.  Angelo said “I will be called Pope John the 23^rd!”

Then Angelo said “Let’s get all of the bishops in the world together for a new Church Council!  We need to change a few things around here!”

The audience gasped.  They called out “Unthinkable!” and “How dare he!”

(Enter Bishops)

But the Cardinals and Bishops got together and said “You know, we should make the Church more loving, and try to get along better with other Christians.” The audience applauded.  Then the Cardinals and bishops all joined hands and sang "Kumbaya".

(exit cardinals and bishops, Enter Kennedy and Kruschev)

One day the President of the United States, John F Kennedy, and the head of the USSR, Nikita Khruschev, came to see Pope John XXIII.  Kennedy said (in his best JFK accent) “The Russians have, uh, placed missiles in Cuba, which, uh, threaten the United States of America.  They need to get rid of them, or we will, uh, drop nuclear bombs on the USSR.”

But Khruschev said, in his best Russian accent “You’re not the boss of me.  You drop bomb on me, I drop bomb on you. Then we see who laughs.”

Pope John XXIII said “How about nobody drops bombs on anyone!”

Everybody thought  that was a great idea.  So Khruschev and Kennedy shook hands, while the crowd said “Pope John the 23^rd is Man of the Year!”

Pope John XXIII died a little while later.  He had only been Pope for 4 years.

Pope Saint John XXIII-  Pray for Us