Daniel, Zedekiah, Zedekiah's kids (2), Jeremiah, Babylonians (3), Nebuchadnezzar, Belshazzar, Persians, (3) Darius, lions (3)
(Enter Zedekiah, Zedekiah's kids and Jeremiah)
There once was a king called Zedekiah. One day the prophet Jeremiah came to him crying, and said "Oh king! The Babylonians are going to come and destroy you!
But Zedekiah shrugged and said "I doubt it."
(Enter Babylonians)
So the Babylonians invaded, and they captured Zedekiah's children, forcing him to watch as they killed his children before his eyes. Then they gouged his eyes out. Then they took Jeremiah and Zedekiah as hostages.
(Exit Jeremiah, Zedekiah, Zedekiah's kids. Enter Daniel, Nebuchadnezzar)
One of the other hostages they took to Babylon was a guy called Daniel. Daniel was very wise. One day, King Nebuchadnezzar said "I had a really weird dream, and unless my wise men can tell me what I dreamt and what it means, I'm going to put them all to death!"
The audience gasped.
But Daniel said "I can tell you! You dreamt about a big statue, and it represents your empire, the Persians, the Greeks, and... someone else."
The king was flabbergasted! He said "Daniel, you're so wise! You are the wisest wise of the wise. Oh by the way, I was going to burn up three of your friends in my furnace, but they didn't burn, so I let them go!"
Daniel smiled and said "Thank you!"
Nebuchadnezzar said "Don't mention it." Then he went crazy, crawling around on the ground, mooing and eating grass like a cow. Then he got better. Then he died.
(Exit Nebuchadnezzar, Enter Belshazzar.)
After that the king of the Babylonians was Belshazzar. He threw a big party, and all the Babylonians got drunk. Belshazzar said like a game show announcer "Tonights party dishes were brought to you by, the Temple. If you're going to pillage, pillage the temple."
Suddenly, Belshazzar shrieked in terror. He pointed to a place on the wall. All the other Babylonians shrieked too. Belshazzar described what he saw, saying "There's a flying dismembered hand over there! It's writing something! What does it say?"
Daniel said "Your majesty, it says that your going to die and your kingdom will be taken from you."
Belshazzar said "Thank you Daniel! You are the wisest of the wise!"
(Enter the Persians)
Suddenly the Persians ran in and killed all the Babylonians and Belshazzar.
(Exit Babylonians, Belshazzar. Enter Darius)
Darius looked around and said "Good work boys! I'm in charge now!"
But the Persians said "But your majesty, this man Daniel refuses to stop worshipping God and worship you instead!"
Darius looked annoyed, and said "Well that's dumb. What should we do?"
The Persians said "Feed him to the lions!"
(Enter the lions)
So the Persians grabbed Daniel and threw him into the lions den. But instead of eating him, the lions just meowed like cats, and licked his face.
Darius said "Obviously Daniel's God is legit. Get him out of there!"
Daniel came out of the lions den, and gave Darius a big hug.
Then Darius threw the Persians into the lions den, and the lions ate them.
(Exit Lions, Persians)
Darius said "Daniel, you are the wisest of the wise."
Daniel said "Thanks, king! I'm so glad I can be one of your magi! By the way, did you know that in about 490 years the Jewish Messiah will come and rule forever?"
Darius said "Sounds like a plan! I look forward to it!"
The end.
