King Nebuchadnezzar (M), Holofornes(M), soldiers (3), people (2), Achior (M), Jews (3), Elders (2), Judith (f)
King Nebuchadnezzar was a nasty tyrant. He said "Everyone everywhere should serve and worship me!"
The soldiers cheered and said "Sir, yes sir!"
Holofornes spoke up. "Sir, I propose that we conquer every city and town from here to Damascus to Egypt, and we destroy all of their temples, and kill them if they resist."
Nebuchadnezzar stroked his beard. He said "I like the way you think! I love killing people!"
So Holofornes led the soldiers in a slow march west.
(Exit Nebuchadnezzar, enter the people.)
Everywhere they went, the people cheered for them and welcomed them. The people looked a little embarrassed as they did it, but they shrugged and said "Otherwise they'll kill us!"
(enter Achior)
Achior ran up to Holofernes and fell on his knees, trembling. In a shaky voice he said "Sir, there's one group of people who refuse to obey you!"
The audience gasped.
Achior went on. "They are called the Jews. They're God defeated Egypt. They think their God will save them!"
Holofernes shouted "What? There is no God but Nebuchadnezzar!" Then he ordered his soldiers "Beat this man for bringing me bad news!"
The soldiers beat Achior, who cried out for mercy.
Then Holofornes said "Surround the towns of the Jews! Stop them from getting any water! Then we'll see how long they last!"
Holofornes, the soldiers, and the people all shared in a menacing laugh.
(Exit everyone. Enter Jews and elders)
Soon the Jews ran out of water. They fainted from thirst, and dragged their bodies on the ground, saying "Water, water!"
The Jews went to the elders and said "Let's give up! It would be better to be the slaves of Nebuchadnezzar than to watch our families die of thirst!"
But the elders said. "God will fight for us! Let's wait 5 days and see if He sends rain. If after 5 days there is still no rain, then we'll give up!"
(Enter Judith)
Suddenly everyone fell silent as Judith stepped onto stage. Judith was the most beautiful woman anyone had ever seen! Everyone in the audience said in awed admiration "Wow... she's so beautiful!"
But Judith was not happy. She went to the elders and said "You put God to the test? You put a timeline on Him? Think He'll just show up when you want him to?" Then she snapped her fingers three times and said "Oh no you didn't!"
The elders cried, saying "What were we supposed to do?"
Judith put her hand on her hip and sighed loudly in disgust. She said "I have a plan. Don't ask me what it is. But I will show you that God will defeat your enemies."
(Exit elders and Jews)
So that night Judith put on her nicest outfit, her best jewelry, her finest makeup, and did her hair beautifully. She also put on perfume. She looked at herself in the mirror and said "Girl! If looks could kill..." then she winked at the audience and said "Maybe they can!"
(Enter soldiers)
Judith snuck out of her city, and walked towards her enemies. When they saw her coming, one soldier said "Wow, do you see that?"
Another said "Who is that vision of loveliness?"
A third one just gawked, eyes wide open, and said "Hubba hubba!"
Judith said "I surrender to you babylonians!"
(Enter Holofornes)
So the soldiers brought Judith to Holofornes, and she said "Oh, mighty Holofornes, I surrender to you! I know my people don't stand a chance against you!"
Holofornes took one look, and said "Wow, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on!"
Judith giggled and said "You're not so bad yourself, you big hunk of a man!" Then she felt his muscles and said "oooh."
Holofornes looked at his soldiers and said "Gentlemen, please give us some privacy. I want to speak to this woman alone."
So the soldiers left.
(Exit soldiers)
Holofornes looked at Judith and said "Would you like some wine?"
Judith batted her eyes and said "I would love some. This is the happiest day of my life!"
So Holofornes and Judith began drinking wine. Judith only took small sips, giggling and flirting the whole time. But Holofornes drank and drank, until he was so drunk he collapsed on the floor, dead asleep!
Judith said "Ew, about time!"
Then taking a sword from off the wall, she prayed "God, give me strength!"She struck his neck twice with all her might, and chopped off his head. Then she picked up his head by the hair, and put it in her lunch bag. She returned home to her people.
(exit Holofornes, enter elders and Jews)
When the Elders saw her they said "Thank God you're alive!"
Judith said "Look what I brought you!" and took the head of Holofornes out of her lunch bag.
When the Jews saw it, they all cheered, and played soccer with it!
(Enter soldiers)
When the soldiers realized their general was defeated by a woman, they became terrified. The Jews said "Let's get them!" and they chased the soldiers away.
(Exit Jews, Soldiers.)
The elders said to Judith "You are the glory of Jerusalem!" and they all did a little dance.
