Pharaoh, Moses, Slaves (6) , Soldiers (2), Hotep, Hoy, death
Egypt was once the most powerful nation in all the
world. The man in charge was named
Pharaoh.
(Enter Pharaoh)
Pharaoh swaggered around, flexing his muscles, saying “I am
the most powerful man in the world! I
have the most powerful kingdom in the world!
And I have the biggest sphynx! Hebrew slaves! Build me a pyramid!”
(Enter slaves)
The slaves said, “But we don’t want to!”
Pharaoh said “Guards!!!”
(Enter guards)
The guards came in, cracking their whips, and their
knuckles.
The slaves said “Yessir, right away sir!” and they immediately made a human pyramid.
(Enter Moses)
Moses said “Hello, Pharaoh”
Pharaoh said “Oh look, my long lost brother! Well, not really my brother, since you turned
out to be a Hebrew Slave, but you were raised in the palace…”
Moses said “You know the word Hebrew just means slave right?
So saying Hebrew slave is redundant.”
Pharaoh said “You can say that again!”
The narrator paused to give the audience time to get the joke.
Then Moses said “The God of the Hebrews came to me, and he
orders you to let his people go.”
Pharaoh laughed. The soldiers laughed. The audience laughed.
Finally Pharaoh wiped away a tear, and said ;
“God who? Who wants me to completely destroy my economy?”
Moses said “His name is “I am who I am.””
Pharaoh said “Oh. Uh, call in the priests”
(Enter Hotep, Hoy)
Pharaoh said “Do we have any gods powerful enough to take on
“I am who I am?””
Hotep said “Certainly!
We have gods of the Nile, frog gods, weather gods, livestock gods”
But for every so-called god of the Egyptians, God sent a
plague. (Plague sound effects provided
by the audience.) The Nile turned to
blood, there was a plague of frogs, it hailed fire, all the livestock died…
Hoy said “Don’t forget Ra!
He’s the most powerful god in the world- the sun god!”
But then there was a plague of darkness. All the Egyptians
groped around saying “who turned out the lights?” But the Hebrews could see, as they were still
in the light!
Moses clapped his hands twice, and the lights came back on. Pharaoh
said- “Wow, you should patent that!”
Then Moses said “Pharaoh, you’ve seen the power of my
God. My God is the true God, and more
powerful than any of your imaginary gods!
You need to repent, and let my people go!”
But Pharaoh got mad and said “Well, he’s not more powerful
than me! I have the power over life and
death!” Then he pointed an angry finger
in Moses face and said “Don’t mess with me. I have one more god- Anubis, the
god of Death…” Then he laughed maniacally.
Then he and the other Egyptians stormed out.
(exit soldiers, priests, Pharaoh)
The Hebrews said “Moses, what have you done? He’ll kill us all!”
But Moses said “Death will come, but not for us. God will save us, and death will Passover
us.”
So at Moses’ instructions, the Hebrews ate a meal of
unleavened bread, wine, and lambs meat. And they painted the lambs’ blood on
their doors.
(Enter Egyptians)
That night everybody went to sleep, snoring quietly.
(Enter Death)
But while they slept, death came. Death went to the houses of the Egyptians,
tiptoeing around and in every home they lost their first son. But when Death came to the house of the
Hebrews, he saw the Lambs blood, and he passed over them.
The next morning when they woke up, all the Egyptians were
crying and hugging each other.
Moses went to Pharaoh, and said “I’m very sorry about your
loss… but about our freedom…”
Pharaoh said “You and your people may go.”
All the Hebrews gave each other high fives, and started
walking away, as the Egyptians hung their heads in sadness.
(exit Egyptians.)
The Hebrews came to the Red Sea, and said “It’s beautiful!”
But one Hebrew said “I thought he said it would be red…”
(Enter Pharaoh)
Suddenly Pharaoh said “It will be.”
The audience gasped!
(enter soldiers)
Pharaoh said “Kill them!”
The soldiers started moving towards the Hebrews in super
slow motion.
The Hebrews cried out “How will we escape?”
Moses put his staff in the water, and the sea parted. The
Hebrews ran across to safety. Then the sea rushed back, as Pharaoh and his army
sang the Little Mermaids “Under the Sea.”
The Hebrews celebrated their freedom.
