St Kassiani

St Kassiani

Characters:  Theophilus (Thee-awe-fill-us), Subjects (2), Euphrosyne (U-fro-seen), Eligible women, Kassiani, nuns

(Enter Theophilus, Subjects)

There once was great Byzantine Emperor, named Theophilus. 

The audience said "Seriously?  That's Theophilus name I've ever heard!"  Then they all gave each other high fives for thinking of the exact same joke at the exact same time.

Theophilus walked around as regally as he could, patting his subjects on the head, and giving orders for noble things to be done.  But Theophilus was lonely, and would often sit alone and wish that he had someone to love.

(Enter Euphrosyne, eligible women, Kassiani)

So his stepmother, Euphrosyne, made a declaration that all the eligible young women should come and present themselves to the emperor in a bride show. All the eligible women, including Kassiani, made themselves as pretty as possible to impress Theophilus.  They giggles and posed in the most beautiful ways. 

Theophilus walked up and down the line of beautiful women, trying to decide which one to give a golden apple to, which would make her his wife.  He stopped at Kassiani, saying "Va-va-voom!". 

Kassiani giggled. 

Then he said "It is because of women that all the bad things have come into the world."  By this he was referring to the sin of Eve.

But Kassiani was intelligent, and she answered "It is because of a woman that all of the good things have come into the world." By this she meant Mary.

All the other eligible girls said "Oooh", as if Kassiani was trying to pick a fight.

Theophilus was impressed by her intelligence,  but embarrassed because she was more intelligent than he was. So he gave the apple to one of the other girls, and they went off and got married.

(Theophilus, eligible girls, subjects and Euphrosyne leave the stage, enter nuns)

Kassiani was sad, because she actually did love Theophilus.   But she believed that God wanted her to become a nun, so she went and started a convent.  She gathered other nuns around her, and led them in singing praise songs to God.

Kassiani loved writing hymns for the Church, and would spend her time signing to herself in the convent.

(Enter Theophilus)

One day while writing a hymn, she saw that Theophilus was coming! He was riding on a horse, and looking very gallant.

"Oh no!"  Kassiani said, melodramatically.  "I am a nun, but I still love him!  If I speak with him I will want to leave with him!  I must hide!" And so she went and hid in the closet.

When Theophilus entered the room, he found it empty.  He began to cry.  "Oh, Kassiani!  You were the most beautiful of all the women, and the most intelligent!  Would that I had chosen you instead of being hurt by my pride!" 

Then he noticed the Hymn that Kassiani had been writing, sitting on a table.  He took a pen, and finished writing the song, saying "I knew that we would write beautiful music together!"

As he set down the pen, he saw Kassiani watching him from inside the closet.  Kassiani gasped. But Theophilus just left the room.

St Kassiani-  Pray for us!