Philip Neri

Philip, Donkey, people(2), men (3), jugglers (2),  singers(2), carnies(2) (carnies are people who work for the carnival)

(Enter Philip, donkey)

When Philip was a kid, he one day saw a donkey walking by with fruit on it’s back.  Philip jumped on the donkeys back, and they both fell into a cellar. The donkey brayed angrily,  and stomped off. Just before leaving the stage he said "Jackass."

The audience was stunned by the bad language, until they considered that the word jackass is in Pinocchio, Shakespeare, and the Bible, so they decided to let it go and not tell their parents.

(Exit Donkey)

Philip was a businessman, and said “I want to be rich some day!”.  But he would often go and pray in a crack in a mountain, and after one of his prayers he said “Instead of being Rich, I wanna be Holy!”

(Enter people, men)

So Philip became a priest.  Many people would come to him for confession, and a number of young men gathered to pray with him.  So many came that they had to build a special building called an Oratory for the men to pray in!

(Enter jugglers, singers, carnies)

Every year, there would be a carnival in town.  The audience sang the circus song- you know, the one from Madagascar where the Zebra keeps inserting the word afro. There would be jugglers, singers, and lots of carnies selling alcohol!  Each year at Carnival the men would all go and get drunk and do other bad things!

(exit jugglers, singers, people)

So Philip created a special pilgrimage on the day of Carnival.  Philip and the men would walk all day, and then by evening they would be too tired to be tempted!  When the carnies tried to sell them beer, the men would just fall asleep!

(exit carnies)

Philip always wanted to teach people not to take themselves so seriously.  One of the men was way too serious- so Philip made him stand and sing at breakfast. The man sang "I'm a little teapot", complete with all the actions.

Another priest gave a beautiful homily, saying "God made you special, and he loves you very much."  The audience were so stunned and moved, that they gave him a standing ovation, many wiping tears from their eyes.  The man said "Wasn't I wonderful Philip?

But Philip said "Yes, so wonderful in fact that you should give the exact same sermon every week for the next 6 weeks!"

But the man said "But Philip!  Everyone will think I only have one sermon!"

Philip said "Exactly. and you will learn to be humble."

But Philip needed to be humble himself!  His reputation for holiness grew, so he would wear ridiculous clothes, or shave ½ his beard off, so the audience would point and laugh at him.  Philip died at 80 years old.

St Philip Neri-   Pray for us!