David, Servant, Bathsheba, Uriah, Joab, Soldiers (3), Nathan, wives (3)
There once was a great king named David. David was very clever, and tapped his head knowledgably. He was a great warrior, and would practice his sword fighting. He was also an accomplished harp player and singer, and would sing songs to God.
He made a heart with his hands. and directed it to God.
The audience said "Wow! There's a king after God's own heart!"
He also had lots of wives.
(Enter wives)
All his wives giggled as they flirted with him, saying "David is so manly!"
(Enter Joab, Soldiers, Uriah)
One day the commander of David's forces, Joab, came running in, saying "David, our enemies are attacking! Come lead us in battle!)
But David yawned, and said "I'm tired. You guys go ahead. Besides, you don't need me! You have Uriah!"
Uriah flexed his massive muscles, and said "I am a might warrior!"
David laughed and said "Yeah you are! You're the man!" And David gave Uriah a high five.
Then Joab led Uriah and the Soldiers into battle. They charged off the stage, yelling their battle cry.
(Exit Joab, Uriah, soldiers.)
David said "I think I'll go hang out on the roof of the palace for a bit." He began climbing the ladder to the roof, while his wives giggled, giving him his privacy.
(Exit wives, enter Bathsheba)
On the roof, David was looking around, when suddenly he saw Bathsheba on another rooftop. David said "Vavavoom! Who is that vision of loveliness?"
(Enter servant)
The servant said "That is Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah."
David said "Wow. How did he end up with a girl like that? Get her for me."
So the servant went to Bathsheba, and brought her to David.
Bathsheba genuflected before David and said "What can I do for you, your majesty?"
David whispered something in her ear.
But Bathsheba objected. "I'm married."
David shrugged, and said "Yeah, but your husbands not here, and I'm the king, so I get what I want."
(Clear the stage.)
Weeks passed.
(Enter David, Bathsheba)
Bathsheba said "David, I'm pregnant."
David looked alarmed. "With Uriah's baby?"
Bathsheba shook her head, and said. "Nope. Yours". Then she walked away.
(Exit Bathsheba)
David trembled. He said "Oh no! What am I going to do? Uriah will kill me when he finds out! I'll have to make him think that the baby is his."
(Enter Servant)
David said "Servant, go get me Uriah from the war!"
So the servant ran off.
(Exit servant, Enter Uriah)
Uriah said "You sent for me your majesty?"
David smiled, and put his arm around Uriah's soldiers like they were best buds. David said "Yes! Good to see you! How goes the battle?"
Uriah looked confused, but said "Good. I think we're gonna win. But I'm really needed on the front line."
David smiled and said "I bet you are! You are the best warrior we have. But you deserve a night off. Go home, spend the night with your wife, go back tomorrow!"
But Uriah said "No. I need to be in the battle like any good soldier. I can't get back there tonight, so tonight I'll sleep in the palace, as your personal body guard!"
David smiled, but inside he was freaking out. "Great, you do that!"
(Exit David, enter Joab, Soldiers)
The next day Uriah brought a letter to Joab from David. Joab read the letter, and he turned pale. But all he said was "Ok."
Joab took the soldiers aside and said quietly to them, so that Uriah wouldn't hear "When I yell charge, don't charge. I'm trying to trick, uh, the enemy."
So Joab, Uriah and the Soldiers all lined up for battle.
Joab yelled "Charge!"
Uriah and the Soldiers all gave their battle cry, but only Uriah charged. Uriah ran ahead of the rest of the army, then turned back and said "Wait, what?"
But suddenly Uriah was hit by an enemy spear, and he died.
(Exit Joab, Uriah, Soldiers. Enter David and servant)
The Servant said "Your majesty, a letter from Joab." He handed David a scroll.
David read the letter, and breathed a sigh of relief. He announced "Uriah is dead. Guess I got away with it! Guess I better marry Bathsheba and take care of her!"
(Enter Nathan)
But Nathan, the local prophet, entered and said "David, God knows that you took another mans wife, and killed the man. God will punish you!"
(Exit Nathan, servant)
David fell on his knees, and said "I'm sorry God! Please forgive me!" Then he wrote a song about how sorry he was.
David was a king after God's own heart. But David made some very serious mistakes. But afterwards, he repented, and even though there were consequences for his sins, his relationship with God was healed.
