Pier Giorgio Frassati

Pier Giorgio, Dad, Mom, Sister, friends, fascists (3), communists (2), police (2), poor(2), sick (2)

(Enter Pier, mom, dad, sister)

Pier Giorgio was born into a wealthy family in Turin in 1901.  He lived with his mom and dad and sister.  His dad owned and published an important newspaper, called La Stampa. His father said "Pier, it always important to speak the truth, no matter how unpopular it may be!"

(exit mom and dad and sister, enter friends)

When Pier was a teenager, he loved hanging out with his sister and his friends.  They would climb mountains together, go camping, and play pool.  But sometimes his friends would say "C'mon, Pier, let's go play pool!"  And Pier would say "Wait, I haven't had my prayer time yet!"

(Enter poor)

Other times, Pier and his friends would be waiting for the train, when poor people came and asked for money.  Pier would always give them what he had. His friends would say "Pier-  you need that money for the train!"  

But Pier would say "It's OK-  I'll just run home."  So Pier would run all the way home.  

(Exit friends, enter mom and dad)

He'd get home breathless, and his parents would say "Pier, stop giving your money away and praying every day.  I hope you don't become a priest or something!"

(exit mom and dad)

When Pier was done school, he went on to University to study Engineering.  Pier was so good looking, that all the girls in the audience said "He's so dreamy", and giggled.  

(Enter Fascists and Communists and friends)

But Italy was splitting into different factions.  Communists and Fascists (later known as Nazis) would fight in the streets.  

Pier and his friends said "We don't want to be part of either group!  We will form our own group, called "The Sinister ones!"  And they spent their time pulling practical jokes on each other.

(Exit communists, friends. Enter mom, dad, sister)

But the Fascists did not like Pier or the stuff that his dad wrote in the paper.  One night they broke into his house, and attacked his dad.  His mom cried, and his sister screamed.  But Pier beat the tar out of the fascists and chased them away!

(Exit fascists, mom, dad, sister, enter friends, police)

Another time Pier and his friends were part of a protest organized by the Church.  The Police came to break up the protest.  The police pulled out clubs, and started beating and arresting people who would not listen. They yelled "Go Home!"   

But Pier stood his ground, saying "You want peace?  Work for justice!" 

Pier and his friends were arrested, and thrown into prison. The Police said "What is your name?"  

Pier said "Pier Giorgio Frassati"

The police said "Frassati?  I'm sorry, we didn't know how important you were!  Please, come with us sir, and we will give you a better place to stay!"

But Pier said "No. I will stay with my friends."

(Exit police, enter poor, sick)

When Pier got out of jail, he spent so much time with the poor and the sick, looking after them, that his parents and friends would often say "C'mon Pier!  It's unbecoming of a rich man!"

Pier eventually got an illness from the sick he looked after, and he died when he was only 24 years old. 

At his funeral, not only did the rich and his family come, but thousands of poor and sick people, who all said "This guy was a real saint".

St Pier Giorgio Frassati-  Pray for us!

Joseph of Cupertino

Joseph, Jesus, angels (2), bullies (3), monks (3), inquisition (2), horses (2)

(Enter Joseph, Jesus and Angels on deck)

There once was a man named Joseph.  When Joseph was a kid, he used to pray regularly, and on occasion he would experience something called an “Ecstasy”.  When this happened, he would see visions of Jesus or Angels!  He would become still and smile a big silly smile!

(Enter Bullies)

The school bullies would see Joseph, but not the visions, so they would make fun of him. They would say mean things like “Hey stupid, what are you looking at?”  and “I think he sees visitors from the sky” and “run, Forrest, run!”

(Exit bullies. Jesus and angels, enter monks, horses)

When Joseph got older, he really wanted to be a priest, so he went to the monks, who were busy practicing their monkish singing.  But the monks said “He’s too dumb-  he can’t be a priest!”  Joseph got down on his knees and begged the monks, saying “Please, just let me take care of the horses!” 

So Joseph spent his time feeding the horses.  The horses whinnied with delight as Joseph stroked their mains and patted them on the necks, and they licked the sugar out of his hand.  But the monks said  "Let him write a few tests to see if he could become a priest".  Everyone was shocked when he passed the tests!

(Exit horses)

So Joseph became a priest, and started saying Mass.  But sometimes during Mass he would go into a trance of ecstasy.  Then he started doing something new.  While in his trance he would start hovering off the ground!  The monks would snap him out of it, by yelling at him and waving in front of his face and he would fall back to the ground!

Some of the monks said  “He must be a saint!”

But other monks said “This is witchcraft!”

(Enter the Inquisition)

So they called in the inquisition.

The audience said "No one expects the inquisition!"

The adults in the room chuckled softly, but no one else did because they didn't get the joke.

 The inquisition were men who made sure that everyone believed what the Catholic Church taught. They walked around with their noses up in the air, looking down at everyone and looking for opportunities to judge people. They had big evil eyes, and they stared at everyone with them. Sometimes they were evil, and forced people to say the right answer, on the pain of torture or death!

They cornered Joseph, and asked him tough questions, like "If God can do anything, can He make a wall that He can't climb over?"  and "why do you drive on a parkway but park in a driveway?" and "why were the first two people who saw superman so excited about a bird or a plane?"

Because Joseph was so dumb, he could not answer their questions, so he just said "I don't know".  But the Inquisitors were astounded!  They said "He's right! I guess this means we don't get to torture him."

The crowd was very disappointed. They said "awe, shucks!"

Still, to stop Joseph from flying, they chained him down.  But then while praying, Joseph went into a trance and broke the chains and began flying, and this time all the monks and all the inquisitors saw it, and they were flabbergasted!

Eventually the Church realized that Joseph was a saint.  He is the patron saint of Pilots and astronauts.

St Joseph Cupertino-  Pray for us!

Abraham

Abraham, Sarah, God, Hagar, Ishmael, Isaac, Goat

Disclaimer-  Abraham is not typically considered a saint, since he lived and died before Jesus, but he is probably in Heaven so that would make him a saint anyway!

(Enter Abraham and Sarah)

There once was a man named Abraham.  He was married to a woman named Sarah.  Sarah and Abraham were very much in love, and they would spend hour looking lovingly into each other’s eyes.  But Sarah was old, and she had never had a baby.  She was so upset about this that she cried and cried. 

(Enter God)

One day God appeared to Abraham.  The crowd sang "Alleluia".

Abraham worshiped God in fear.  God said “If you obey me,  I will make you a Father of many nations. Now take your family, and leave this place for another land.”

(Exit God)

So Abraham did as he was told.  Holding hands, Abraham and Sarah skipped all the way to the Land of Canaan.  But still, no baby came. One day Sarah said Abraham, I’m never gonna have a baby.  You might as well have a baby with my servant Hagar.”

Abraham said “I could never be unfaithful to you Sarah!”

(Enter Hagar)

 But when he saw Hagar, who flipped her hair gorgeously, he said “Vavavoom!” and took Hagars hand and skipped away!

(Enter Ishmael)

So Hagar had a baby, and named him Ishmael.

(Enter God)

But God said “That’s not what I meant!  Sarah will have the baby herself!”

Sarah laughed because she thought that was ridiculous.

(God exit, enter Isaac)

But eventually Sarah did have a baby, and named him Isaac. Abraham was 100 years old!

Hagar would all get up in Sarah’s grill, saying things like “Ishmael was born first, so he’s gonna inherit everything”  And she would snap three times to indicate her bad attitude.

So Sarah went to Abraham and said “Hagar’s being mean.  Send her away.”

So Abraham said “Hagar, your services are no longer required. Please leave.”

Hagar and Ishmael left, very sad.

(Exit Hagar and Ishmael, exit Sarah, enter God)

But God said “Don’t worry, Abraham, I’ll take care of Ishmael. But his descendants and Isaacs descendants will never get along!  Now, take your son Isaac, and kill him on an altar as a sacrifice to me!”

Abraham was all “What?”

God said “C’mon, everybody is doing it! Can’t you worship me the way everyone else worships their Gods?”

(Exit God)

So Abraham took Isaac up Mount Moriah, and built an altar, and tied Isaac up, and laid him on the altar, and was about to kill him when God reappeared and said “Wait!  Don’t kill him!  Kill this goat instead!”

(Enter goat, baaing, with horns stuck in a bush)

And Abraham saw a goat, and killed it, and he and Isaac ate the meat.  Then Abraham said “God , that was messed up. “

God said “Don’t worry-  it’ll make sense in about 2000 years!”  

"St" Abraham-  pray for us!

St Peter

St Peter

Simon (Peter), James, John, Andrew, Jesus, Roman Soldiers (2), servant girl, Mary Magdalene, Holy Spirit

(Enter  Simon Peter, James and John)

There once was a man named Simon, who was fishing with his friends James and John. They were in the boat, throwing their nets over, trying to catch fish, but they weren’t catching any. 

(Enter Andrew, Jesus)

Suddenly, Simon’s brother Andrew ran up and said “Simon!  We found the Messiah!”  Then he pointed at Jesus.

Then Jesus said “Did you catch any fish?”

Simon said “No, we’re packing it in.”

Jesus said “Throw your nets over one more time.”

James said “That stupid carpenter thinks he can teach us how to fish?”

Simon said “Whatever, let’s do what he says.”

So they threw the net over, because everyone does what Simon says.  This time it was so full of fish they couldn’t lift it out!

So Peter and James and John and Andrew all said “Jesus we will follow you anywhere you go!”

Jesus said “Even if they kill me?”

Simon said “You bet!”

Jesus said “Deal.”  Then they all did their secret apostle handshake.  Then they all followed Jesus, singing “Following the leader, the leader, the leader” as Jesus wandered all over the place.

One day Jesus asked them “Who do you think I am?”

John said “A prophet!”

Andrew said “John the Baptist back from the dead!”

James said “A good teacher and a snazzy dresser!”

Simon said “You are the son of God, the Messiah!”

Jesus said “You’re right, Simon!  But you didn’t guess that on your own- the Holy Spirit told you. From now on we’ll call you Peter, which means Rock.  Because you Rock, and on this rock I will build my Church.”

Peter said “Rock on!” and tried to get a high five for his joke, but no one would give him one.

Then Jesus said “Well, being the Messiah isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  Now I have to go get crucified!”

Peter said “I’ll come!” 

(Enter Roman Soldiers)

But when Roman Soldiers came to arrest Jesus, Peter went and hid.

(Exit James, John, Andrew. Enter Servant girl)

A servant girl saw him hiding, and said “Hey- aren’t you friends with Jesus?”

Peter said “no… never heard of him.”

The girl said “yes” Peter said “No” she said “Yes” he said “No”.  Then Jesus walked by shaking his head sadly.  Peter went off and cried.

(Exit servant girl, Roman Soldiers, Jesus.  Enter John, James, Andrew)

Later all the apostles were together again, and John was saying.  “It was awful-  I saw him die!”

(Enter Mary Magdalene)

Suddenly Mary Magdalene ran into the room and said “Jesus is alive!” 

(Enter Jesus)

Jesus appeared and said “Peter, do you love me”?

Peter said “yes”.

So Jesus said “Then be the first Pope.”  Then he flew away to Heaven.

(Exit Jesus. enter Holy Spirit)

Peter was still scared, but the Holy Spirit came and rested on him, which made him strong, so Peter said “from now on, I will not be afraid to tell everyone about Jesus!”

(Exit Holy Spirit)

So Peter and the apostles went everywhere, telling everyone about Jesus. 

(Enter Roman Soldiers)

One day Roman soldiers arrested Peter, saying “You are not allowed to tell people about Jesus.  For disobeying me, you are sentenced to be crucified.”

Peter said “Jesus himself was crucified!  What an honour!”

So the roman said “In that case, we’ll crucify you upside down.”

And so Peter was crucified upside down. He screamed in agony and died.