Thomas Aquinas

Thomas, brothers (2), Mother (Theodora), students (4), woman of ill repute, Jesus, donkey, Pope

(Enter Thomas, brothers, Mother)

When Thomas Aquinas was a kid, he was big and fat and didn't talk much.  Because of this, his brothers would make fun of him and say "You're a dumb ox."  Then they would make obnoxious mooing sounds. His mother, Theodora, would wag her finger at them and say "Now boys, leave him alone." 

When Thomas was 19, he decided he wanted to be a Dominican monk. His mom said "No Thomas!  You could be so much more!"  She begged him, falling on her knees, and saying "Please!  Pretty Please!  Pretty please with a cherry on top!"

Thomas licked his lips and said "Mmmm, Cherries..." But then Thomas said "Please mom! It is the will of God!"  Then he looked epically and heroically into the distance, while patting his mothers hair in a belittling fashion.

(Exit Mother, brothers 'hide')

So Thomas made off to join the Dominicans.  As he was walking, he came to a spring of water, where he bent down to take a drink. Suddenly his 2 brother jumped out, and grabbed him.  They dragged him back to their home, where he was kept as a prisoner!

(Enter Mother)

Thomas said "God wills that I will be a Dominican monk!"

But Theodora said "Well, you can't because you are my prisoner!"

(Enter woman of ill repute)

When he still would not change his mind about becoming a monk, his brothers brought him a woman of ill repute. They said "We'll just leave you two alone while you think about it..."

(Exit brothers, Mother)  The woman flitted her hair back, and walked around, shaking her hips, in an extremely attractive fashion. She flirted with Thomas, stroking his cheek, and saying "Hey there big boy! Bet you don't want to be a monk now!"

Thomas grabbed a red hot poker from the fire, and chased the woman away, saying "Begone, seductress!"  She screamed and ran away. Then he traced a cross on the door with the poker.

(Exit woman, enter brothers.)

 After that, Thomas' brothers finally said "Ok, you can go free."

(Exit Brothers, enter students)

Thomas became a Dominican and a teacher.  His students sat at his feet and said "We called him the Dumb Ox, but he is a genius!  His bellowing will fill the earth!"

(Enter Pope)

Even the Pope heard about how bright Thomas was, and he blessed Thomas and made him the most important teacher in the world!

(Exit Pope)

To write his books, Thomas had 4 students write down his words, and doing it that way he wrote 4 books at a time! 

One of his students said "You're work is so intelligent!"

Another one said "But easy to understand!"

Thomas said "It's important that everyone can understand the faith, not just the educated!"

(Exit Students, enter Jesus)

One day Jesus appeared to him and said "You have written well of me. What reward can I give you?"

Thomas said "I want only you."

Then Jesus disappeared. (Exit Jesus)

After that, Thomas said "Compared to knowing Jesus, everything I wrote is like straw."

(Enter Donkey)

One day while riding on the back of a braying donkey, Thomas hit his head on a branch.  He fell off his donkey, and died soon after.

St Thomas Aquinas-  pray for us!