(Enter Mario)
There once was a man named Mario, who worked on the railroad in Argentina. All day he would pound stakes into the ground, while singing "I've been working on the railroad, all the live long day!" Then he would wipe the sweat from his brow and say "I shoulda become a plumber, like-a Luigi!"
One day when he arrived home from work, his wife, Regina, greeted him with a big hug and a kiss. She said "Mario! We had another baby! I named him Jorge!"
Mario wiped a tear from his eye, saying "I love that name!"
Jorge reached up to Mario and said "Dada!"
As Jorge grew up, he was very intelligent. But when he was a teenager, he got sick with a bad cough.
Jorge said "Thank you doctor- I feel much better now!"
(Exit doctor, parents, enter Jesuits)
Jorge went on to become a priest with the Jesuits, and ended up in charge of the Jesuits. The Jesuits promised to obey Jorge no matter what.
(Enter government soldiers, Dictator, Enrique, and guerillas)
But war broke out in Argentina. Government Soldiers, under the command of Dictator Vidella, fought against Guerrilla warriors. The Guerrillas beat their chests, hooted and screeched, scratched their armpits, and threw bananas, until finally Enrique Merlo said "no, not Gorillas! G-air-ril-las. Revolutionaries! We fight for the poor!"
The guerrillas cheered!
But Videla pointed and angry finger and said "Arrest them!"
The soldiers tortured Orlando and Franz, by tickling them like crazy. Orlando and Franz begged for mercy. Orlando said "please, we are not guerrillas, we are priests, who care for the poor!"
Franz said "Please, I have a weak bladder!"
(Enter Jorge, Videla)
Jorge came and met secretly with Videla, and they whispered back and forth. Finally Videla told his soldiers 'Let them go.'
But when Orlando was released, he didn't know that Jorge had helped him, so he pointed an accusing finger at Jorge saying "You could have helped me!"
Jorge continued secretly helping the poor. He hid them when soldiers came by, and even gave one of them his papers so he could escape from Argentina.
Eventually, Jorge was made Bishop, then Archbishop, then Cardinal. But even though he was so important in the Church, he still lived near and visited with the poor.
(Exit poor, enter Cardinals, Ratzinger)
Another Cardinal said "I think Jorge should be pope!"
Jorge began to cry and said "Please, I don't want to be pope! I just want to serve the poor!"
So the Cardinals agreed, and Joseph Ratzinger became Pope Benedict XVI.
But then Pope Benedict said "I'm too old. I'm going to retire."
So the Cardinals said "Jorge should be Pope!"
Pope Francis was made Pope on March 13, 2013.
(Exit Cardinals, enter liberals and conservatives.)