St Damien of Molokai

Damien, Superior, Hawaiian Girl, Bishop. nice lepers (3), mean lepers (3), pig

(Enter Damien)

Damien was a Belgian priest.  As a Belgian, Damien said "I love waffles, chocolate, and beer!"

(Enter superior)

One day the superior in his order said "Damien, I want you to be a missionary in Hawaii."

Damien was very excited. He did a little dance. But he said "Hawaii? Do they have waffles, chocolate and beer?"

The superior winced and said "They're better known for their coconuts, pineapples and Mai Tai." 

Damien looked confused. He asked "What's Mai Tai?"

The superior shrugged and said "I have no idea. It's just in the script."

(Exit superior, enter Hawaiian girl)

When Damien arrived in Hawaii, he was greeted by an extremely attractive Hawaiian girl. She danced up to him, waving her hands and swiveling her hips as she did that Hula. She placed a garland of flowers around his neck. Damien blushed, and said "Wow, I think I'm going to like it here!"

The Hawaiian girl giggled, and Hula'd her way off the stage. 

(Exit Hawaiian girl, enter Bishop)

The Bishop greeted Damien and said "Welcome to Oahu!"

Damien looked around alarmed. "Oahu! Oh no, I thought this was Hawaii!"

The bishop said "Oahu is one of the many Islands of Hawaii, the others are Maui, Molokai..."

Damien grinned and said "I hope to see them all."

The Bishop shook his head. "Well, you won't be going to Molokai."

Damien asked "Why not?"

The Bishop said "It's the home of the lepers."

Damien got excited. He said "Cool! I've never seen a leopard! I saw a tiger once, but never a spotted cat."

The Bishop frowned and said. "Not leopards. Lepers. They have different spots. They live alone on the Island of Molokai so that no one else will catch their disease."

Damien looked concerned, and said "Do they have a priest?"

The Bishop shook his head and said "No- no one can go there. They'll get sick."

Damien put up his hand and said "I'll go!"

The bishop said "Damien, that's very generous. But these people are sick, both physically and spiritually. No one can reach them."

But Damien insisted, saying "Please send me."

(Exit Bishop, Enter Lepers)

When Damien got to Molokai, the lepers approached him like zombies.  Their skin was rotting, they smelled bad, and they groaned as they crept towards him.

But Damien was not afraid. He said "Hey guys, I'm here to help you build up your community!"

One of the lepers said "Why would you help us? We're dying, nobody cares about us."

Damien put his hand on the lepers shoulder and said "God does."

So Damien helped the lepers fix up their houses, and made coffins so that if someone died they could be buried in dignity. One of the nice lepers said "That guy can fix anything!"

But some of the mean lepers said "Who is he to come here and tell us how to live? Let's trash his house!"

(Enter pig)

So when Damien wasn't looking, they grabbed the ugliest, stinkiest pig they could find, and released it in Damien's house.  The pig squealed and snorted and ran around the house, getting mud and poop on everything. 

When Damien saw it, he yelled, and he grabbed the pig, and he cooked it. Then he invited all the lepers, including the mean ones, to share in his meal.

(Exit pig)

Damien treated the lepers with dignity, even when other people treated them with discuss. And he did not judge them. Soon even the mean lepers grew to appreciate him. But one day, Damien realized he himself had leprosy. 

Damien could no longer leave the Island, and he would get sicker and sicker.

(Enter Bishop)

When the Bishop came by on a ship, he would not come ashore. So Damien shouted his confession to the Bishop over the water. 

Damien shouted "Forgive me father for I have sinned!"

The bishop shouted back "I absolve you!"

(Exit bishop)

Damien died of leprosy when he was only 49 years old.

St Damien of Molokai- Pray for us!