Dymphna

St Dymphna

Dymphna, Mother, Father, friends(2), servant, other women (3). Priest, soldiers (2), travelers (2), sick (1)

(Enter Dymphna, Mother, father)

Dymphna was the daughter of Damon, the king of a little place called Oriel in Ireland.  Damon was a happy man, and would always say in his Irish accent “A, my wee Dymphna. Thank your lucky charms you’re as beautiful as your mother!” 

Dymphna would blush and say, “Thanks daddy!”  and give him a kiss on the cheek.

But more than anything, Damon was in love with his wife. Dymphna’s mother flitted about gracefully, always looking beautiful and poised, and saying things like “Dymphna, you truly are beautiful, but it is God you should thank, and not your lucky charms.” 

Her mother, you see, was a Christian, and she would spend her time praying on her knees to Jesus. Her father was a pagan, and he would dance around, singing songs about painting with all the colours of the wind.

But they were very much in love. Dymphna's mom and dad would hold hands, and stare lovingly into each other's eyes, and Damon would say “My sweet, sweet love, what would I ever do without you?”

Then one day, when Dymphna was 14, her mom died. 

(Exit Mom)

Dymphna cried. She ran to her dad for a big consoling hug, but Damon lost his mind. 

He flapped like a chicken and howled like a wolf.

(Enter servant)

 He told his servant “Gather the women you find, and when there is one as beautiful as my dead wife, I will marry her.”

(Enter other women)

So, the servants brought other women to him.  But Damon would examine each one, saying things like “Blech” and “You must be kidding” and “How old is that hag?”

Finally, servant said “why don’t you marry Dymphna, your daughter?  She looks just like your dead wife!”

Damon looked at Dymphna and gave a wolf whistle. Dymphna said “Eww!”  and added “Also immoral.”  

(Enter friends)

She and her friends ran away to Belgium. 

(Exit father, servant, other women. Enter priest, travelers, sick)

In Belgium, they began working with a priest to look after travelers and the sick. 

(Enter father, soldiers)

But eventually, Damon found them. Damon came with his soldiers and said “Kill the priest!”  So they chopped off the priest's head. The travelers and sick ran away.

(Exit priest, travelers, sick, friends)

Then Damon said “Come Dymphna. We will be wed and you will be my queen.”

Dymphna cried, "Never!"

Damon said “Have it your way. Chop off her head.”

So the soldiers chopped her head off, and Dymphna died.  

She is the patron saint of the mentally ill.

Saint Dymphna- Pray for us!