Dymphna

St Dymphna

Dymphna, Mother, Father, friends(2) , servant, other women (3). Priest, soldiers (2), travelers (2), sick (1)

Dymphna was the daughter of Damon, the king of a little place called Oriel in Ireland.  Damon was a happy man, and would always say in his Irish accent “A, my wee Dymphna. Thank you’re lucky charms you’re as beautiful as your mother!” 

Dymphna would blush, and say “Thanks daddy!”  and give him a kiss on the cheek.

But more than anything, Damon was in love with his wife.  Dymphna’s mother flitted about gracefully, always looking beautiful and poised, and saying things  like “Dymphna, you truly are beautiful, but it is God you should thank, and not your lucky charms.”  Her mother, you see, was a Christian, and she would spend her time praying on her knees to Jesus.  Her father was a pagan, and he would dance around, singing songs about painting with all the colours of the wind.

But they were very much in love.  Dymphnas mom and dad would hold hands, and stare lovingly into each others eyes, and Damon would say “My sweet, sweet love, what would I ever do without you?”

Then one day, when Dymphna was 14, her mom died.  Dymphna cried. Damon lost his mind. He flapped like a chicken and howled like a wolf. He told his servant “Gather the women you find, and when there is one as beautiful as my dead wife, I will marry her.”

So the servants brought other women to him, but upon seeing them he said “Blech” and “You must be kidding” and “How old is that hag?”

Finally servant said “why don’t you marry Dymphna, your daughter?  She looks just like your dead wife!”

Damon looked at Dymphna, and gave a wolf whistle.  Dymphna said “Eww!”  and added “Also immoral.”  She and her friends ran away to Belgium. 

In Belgium, they began working with a priest to look after travelers and the sick. 

But eventually, Damon found them.  Damon came with his soldiers and said “Kill the priest!”  So they chopped off the priests head. Then Damon said “Come Dymphna. We will be wed and you will be my queen.”

“Never!”  Dymphna cried.

“Have it your way.”  Damon said “Chop off her head.”

So Dymphna died.  She is the patron saint of the mentally ill.

Saint Dymphna-  Pray for us!